Boners

Boner of the Day for March 19th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: Baby Mine Close Your Ears

We’re sure the set of “Dumbo” was a delightful experience and that the finished film will be more than appropriate for young audiences, but star Colin Farrell admits he had a hand in filling up a swear jar on set. And his young co-stars were quick to name names of others who have just as bad of a potty mouth. While guesting on “The Talk,” Sharon Osbourne said Farrell has been known for his “colorful language,” although Farrell joked that she’s one to talk. “Indeed, how did you get this job,” the Irish actor said. “There must be somebody backstage with carpal tunnel from hitting the button so much.” Farrell said that by the end of the film, there was a swear jar that was “rather full,” and that all the money went to charity. “Of course, I wasn’t the only one to blame. Who else had ‘colorful language?’ Come on, nail someone,” Farrell said to the film’s child actors Nico Parker and Finley Hobbins. And without missing a beat, Hobbins chimed in and called out Danny DeVito and Michael Keaton.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: They got good SKetti in jail?

Mama June Shannon went on a Twitter spree on Friday, shortly after being arrested for drug possession charges. Without addressing the arrest, which reportedly occurred on Wednesday, the 39-year-old reality star began live-tweeting the season 3 premiere of Mama June: From Not to Hot on Friday night. “Sorry I’m so late tweeting the show but don’t forget to watch the most outrageous moments right now,” she wrote. “Let’s get ready to start the season off good #mamajune.” An hour later, the reality star again apologized for getting a late start, explaining that “my internet has been down and where I’m at does not have cable that picks up wetv.” While live-tweeting the episode, Shannon also gave a special shoutout to her boyfriend of three years Geno Doak. “Yes the most outrageous moment is me getting genp [sic] to possibly marry me so we’re going to see what happens this season so let’s get to watching now,” she wrote, referring to the moment during the episode where Doak, 43, got down on one knee — and gave her a promise ring. “I’m not gonna ask you to marry me, but I don’t want to lose you,” he told her during the episode. Placing the ring on her middle finger, he explained, “we’re smack dab in the middle of us.”

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: It’s a Bullet train, Doesn’t that sound dangerous

German police say a drunken man with a fire extinguisher smashed his way into the driver’s cab of a high-speed train running from Frankfurt to Paris and demanded that the driver slow down. Federal police said the ICE train operated by Germany’s Deutsche Bahn stopped near Frankfurt after the incident Sunday morning. The 30-year-old man from Heideberg, who wasn’t identified, was arrested and faces an investigation into dangerous interference in rail traffic, among other things. Police say passengers said the man took a fire extinguisher off the wall, smashed a glass door separating the cab from the passenger compartment, and told the shocked driver the train was going much too fast and he had to save the passengers.

Read More

[polldaddy poll=10269789]

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: Take That’s Aunt Jemima!

A 45-year-old Florida man is accused of throwing a bowl of pancake batter at a woman who was making dinner. An arrest report says Dwayne Zimmerman was drunk on Friday night when he went onto the porch of a home where the woman was making pancakes. The woman told Hernando County Sheriff’s deputies that Zimmerman insulted her and then threw a cooking pan before picking up the bowl of batter and tossing that at her. The bowl missed the woman but was thrown with enough force to break it. Deputies said the woman had pancake batter in her hair and on her clothes. Zimmerman was arrested on a felony battery charge. He remained jailed Monday. Jail records don’t indicate whether Zimmerman has a lawyer.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I Don’t Know What Her Problem Is, I Feel Great!

An enraged man who threatened to kill his wife told officers he had been “doing meth and masturbating all day, and it feels great,” Bangor police said. Borough police were called Sunday evening to the couple’s home in the first block of North Fourth Street. Eric Farnack’s wife ran out to officers in a panic and said her husband was “out of control” and threatened to kill her. The 46-year-old Farnack walked out of the house “in a state of rage,” according to police, and was screaming as he came toward officers. Farnack was told he would be shocked with a stun gun if he did not follow officers’ orders. He reportedly got on the ground while saying he had “been doing meth and masturbating all day, and it feels great.” Farnack was handcuffed, and police said it appeared he was “highly under the influence” of a controlled substance. Farnack’s wife told officers he appeared to be under the influence when he came home early Sunday morning. When the woman came home at about 5:30 p.m., Farnack was outside the home and screamed at his wife to get into the house, police said.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: The Horse Knows the Way Home

A Santa Cruz, California man who allegedly engaged in a little drunken horseplay last weekend found out that riding a horse while intoxicated can be just as hazardous as operating a vehicle in the eyes of the law. California Highway Patrol (CHP) officers arrested a man riding a horse along State Route 152 near Watsonville, in the southeastern part of Santa Cruz County, for public intoxication on Sunday. “Remember it is illegal to not only drive a vehicle under the influence, but also a bicycle, motorized scooter, hoverboard, and a horse,” CHP wrote in an Instagram post. CHP referred to the man as a “suspected DUI rider,” in the post. “Yes, we did say rider!” The man was not arrested for driving under the influence, but after an investigation, he may be charged with DUI, Fox’s Bay Area station KTVU reported.

Read More

[polldaddy poll=10269791]

To Top