Boners

Boner of the Day for November 15th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS COMING AT ME.

Disturbing video has surfaced of a Pima County deputy brutally attacking a 15-year-old quadruple amputee in Arizona. The child has no arms and legs and he has been arrested and charged along with his 16-year-old friend who recorded the horrific video. Local news outlet KOLD reported the incident happened in September (the exact date of the video is not clear) while the 15-year-old was living in a group home. He reportedly got upset with a staff member and knocked over a garbage can. The police were called and an unidentified (social media will surely change that) deputy arrived on the scene. The eight-minute video shows him screaming and cursing at the child and eventually wrestling him to the floor. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: EXCUSE ME. CONGRESSMAN NEVAREZ? I THINK YOU DROPPED SOMETHING.

SAN ANTONIO (KTSA News) – A Texas lawmaker who suddenly suspended his Facebook page last week and announced his will not seek reelection is under investigation after allegedly dropping an envelope containing cocaine at an Austin airport. A Department of Public Safety Affidavit claims that on September 6, two DPS workers found an envelope containing four clear bags of white powder on the ground outside a terminal at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport. According to the document, State Representative Alfonso “Poncho” Nevarez arrived from the Texas-Mexico border that day on a private Cessna owned by the Nevarez Law Group. Surveillance video shows him exiting the terminal and dropping the sealed envelope with his official House letterhead before getting into an SUV. October 29, DPS obtained a search warrant for a DNA sample from Nevarez. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: ASSAULT WITH A DEADLY HELMET.

A melee between the Cleveland Browns and the Pittsburgh Steelers late in their N.F.L. game Thursday night led to three ejections and calls for the league to suspend Browns defensive end Myles Garrett, who pulled off the helmet of Steelers quarterback Mason Rudolph and then swung it at his head. Thursday’s brawl began with eight seconds remaining in Cleveland’s 21-7 victory over Pittsburgh, after Rudolph completed a pass and was wrapped up by Garrett, who held on and dragged Rudolph to the ground. The players began shoving while still on the grass, with Rudolph first tugging at Garrett’s helmet as the two wrestled. Garrett then grabbed Rudolph’s face mask and lifted him off the ground with it, eventually pulling his helmet free. As two Pittsburgh linemen started to separate the players, Rudolph chased after Garrett, who then swung the helmet he held in his right hand, making contact with the quarterback’s head. Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: I GOTTA HURRY. I’M CHEATING ON MY WIFE.

A Florida man pulled over for speeding allegedly told cops he was in a hurry to get home “because he was cheating on his wife,” a report said. Jon Earl Pickard, 52, was driving over 90 mph in a 55 mph zone on US Route 19 when he was pulled over by cops about 7:30 p.m. Sunday, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by thesmokinggun.com. Pickard allegedly admitted “his driving was reckless and endangering because he needed to get home in a hurry because he was cheating on his wife,” the arrest report said. After charging him with reckless driving, cops said they found a bag of crack in his shirt pocket — which Pickard allegedly admitted he bought for $50. He was slapped with an additional drug possession charge. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: IT’S OKAY TO BE SCIENTIFICALLY WRONG.

Ohio lawmakers are weighing in on how public schools can teach things like evolution. The Ohio House on Wednesday passed the “Student Religious Liberties Act.” Under the law, students can’t be penalized if their work is scientifically wrong as long as the reasoning is because of their religious beliefs. Instead, students are graded on substance and relevance. Every Republican in the House supported the bill. It now moves to the Republican-controlled Senate. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: SHHH. LISTEN. IS THAT CHILDREN I HEAR? NOPE NO KIDS HERE.

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. (KDVR) — The state has suspended the license for Play Mountain Place day care in Colorado Springs after 26 children were found behind a false wall in the owner’s basement. All of the children are under the age of three. The owner, 58-year-old Carla Faith, is being investigated. A total of three adult workers were arrested, but those charges were cancelled pending an ongoing investigation. On Wednesday, the department asked the Colorado Springs police to assist with a welfare check at the day care after they received a complaint about the number of children the daycare was housing. When officers arrived, they didn’t find any children.
When they contacted the owner at her residence on the same property, she refused to cooperate. Read More

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