ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: A GUNS A BLAZING BIBLE FIGHT
Michael Dean brandished a weapon during a fight with his brother over the Bible. Just another day in Florida. An alcohol-fueled argument about the Bible between two brothers in Florida ended with gunshots and one man’s arrest, according to Friendly Atheist. Michael Dean, 31, was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, after his brother told police “they drank several alcoholic beverages on the front porch and were in a heated debate about the Bible” when Dean began to choke him. After the brother broke free and the two briefly fought, Dean reportedly walked to the front yard and brandished a handgun, telling his brother not to step off the porch or he would kill him. Seconds later, according to the affidavit, Dean fired four or five shots into the ground near his brother. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: STEALING FROM NEEDY KIDS
The treasurer for a group that receives donations for the Uintah and Daggett County Children’s Justice Center was arrested Thursday on accusations she stole around $145,000 from her employer over the past decade. Michelle Coon, 41, told police in an interview that she started off just taking small amounts of money, but became addicted to buying stuff, “kind of like a drug user would be,” according to her probable cause statement. Her alleged purchases include fast food, shoes, clothing and phones. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: HOLOCAUST? I DON’T KNOW NOTHIN’ ABOUT THAT.
(CNN)A former high school principal in Boca Raton, Florida, was fired on Wednesday as a result of emails he sent to a student’s parent in April 2018 that appeared to cast doubt on the historical truth of the Holocaust. The Palm Beach County School Board voted 5-2 to terminate William Latson’s employment effective on November 21, according to records from the meeting posted online. According to the district, there’s “just cause” for firing the former principal, based on ethical misconduct and failure to carry out job responsibilities. After a parent emailed Latson in April to ask him how the school teaches students about the Holocaust, Latson responded, “I can’t say the Holocaust is a factual, historical event because I am not in a position to do so as a district employee.” Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THAT IS JUST BAD LUCK
Brooklyn, NY — A ticked-off driver pulled a loaded, stolen gun on a car — only to discover that it was full of plainclothes cops, a high-ranking police source said Sunday.
Glenn Grays allegedly pointed the .45-caliber gun out his window after cutting off the car carrying undercover detectives from the Brooklyn North Gang Unit on the westbound Belt Parkway on Saturday in Sheepshead Bay, according to the source. Grays, a 31-year-old United States Postal Service employee, was arrested and charged with possession of a firearm and menacing, the source said. He was ordered held in lieu of $25,000 bail following an arraignment in Brooklyn Criminal Court on Sunday evening. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: WITCH HUNT? GOD, WHAT NITWITS
Donald Trump Jr. is using Halloween as an opportunity to take a jab at the Democratic party and the impeachment resolution that passed on Thursday with a costume inspired by an oft-quoted phrase that his father uses on Twitter. Trump Jr., 41, shared a pair of photos on Instagram on Thursday, revealing a politically tinged couples costume with girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle. In the snaps, Trump Jr. wears a camo hunting outfit complete with what appears to be an actual bow and arrow set, while Guilfoyle, 50, wears a black and purple witch costume — together, they make up a “witch hunt.” “Witch Hunt!!! Happy Halloween folks! With all the bulls— the Democrats are throwing out there we just couldn’t resist,” he wrote in the caption for the post. Guilfoyle also shared some photos of their outfits, writing in her post, “#BRB, witch hunting .” Read More
Boner Candidate #3: HOLY GUACAMOLE…YOU’RE GOING TO AVO BABY.
A US motherhood company has come under fire after sending pregnancy congratulation cards to women who aren’t expecting a baby. Mothers Lounge sent unsolicited gift vouchers and a card saying “Holy guacamole, you’re going to avo baby”. Many recipients took to social media complaining that the cards from the Utah-based firm were “insensitive” and had caused awkward conversations. The company said it had used a third-party marketing company’s opt-in list. Many women who received the informal-looking cards – which were signed by a “Jenny B” – initially thought it had been sent by one of their friends. Bewildered recipients have asked on social media: “Who is Jenny B?” The cards seem to have been sent to women across the country. Twitter user @agnetts tweeted: “Who the hell is Jenny B and why did she send me $245 in giftcards to my childhood home congratulating me on my pregnancy?! Read More
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