Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for October 15th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: PEOPLE JUST SUCK.

SOUTH SALT LAKE — Corey Thomas expected to be criticized when she decided to run for public office. But what the 33-year-old South Salt Lake councilwoman didn’t expect was feeling so vulnerable and afraid that she would have to seek legal help in dealing with inappropriate, crude, angry, threatening harassment from two different men during her first 18 months in office. “All I want to do is be able to serve my city and serve my council term and feel safe doing it,” said Thomas, describing what she told a judge when the first stalker was sentenced. When that case ended in a plea agreement and jail sentence, she felt relieved and bolstered by the support she received from police, prosecutors and her constituents. Then, just a few months later, she found herself dealing with a second man whose online harassment hasn’t been as easy to deal with, in part because laws governing protective or restraining orders assume or require there be some romantic or familial relationship — past or present — between the stalker and the victim. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS SELF TAUGHT

SALT LAKE CITY — It was 2018 when Robert Arias realized his vision was faltering. Much appeared blurry to the 35-year-old laborer from West Valley City, and he struggled to see at night. Arias also has diabetes, which can lead to cataracts. A doctor recommended surgery. So he went to a free medical clinic in Salt Lake City, where a volunteer ophthalmologist quietly made an offer, his attorneys allege: The doctor said he would perform the cataract surgery at his Holladay practice, ahead of the clinic’s one- to two-year wait time. And he charged $800 — a fraction of the typical price tag. Now, after what he alleges was a string of botched surgeries from Dr. Paul Wade Wyatt, Arias is blind in his right eye. He and his wife are now suing Wyatt in Salt Lake City’s 3rd District Court. Arias, who is undocumented and originally from the Dominican Republic, paid in cash, according to the lawsuit filed Monday. He did not know that state regulators had prohibited the doctor from performing any surgeries almost two years earlier, or that Wyatt had surrendered his license in other states. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE; HUMAN FECES SHOULD NOT BE ON ANY STREET

A female jogger has been caught on camera repeatedly pooing in a residential street in Paddington, Australia. In clips shared by celebrity publicist Roxy Jacenko, 39, the woman can be seen stopping behind a car before pulling down her leggings and relieving herself on two occasions. One video shows her during an early morning run on October 10, while the other took place just after 6am on October 14. Posting the first footage on her Instagram account, Roxy wrote: ‘What an absolute disgrace you are, doing this in our residential street where we have a primary school and multiple residences. ‘This isn’t the first visit by the said female jogger. Do you know who this person is?’ While on the second clip she commented: ‘And again – today same lady again. What has the world come to?’ Read More

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THERE’S A SEXY NEW SHERIFF IN TOWN

Inspired by the popular “Toy Story” films, e-tailer Fashion Nova has released a line of skimpy women’s costumes for the upcoming holiday, according to the Sun, ruining innocent memories for fans of the Disney franchise. The three looks, now on sale for $59.99 to $69.99, are ever-so-strategically careful not to be named after characters from the movies: Woody, Buzz Lightyear and the aliens from the vending machine in Pizza Planet. Instead, the “New Sheriff in Town” costume, modeled off of Woody’s cowboy look, has a garter belt, denim-colored, high-waisted underwear and a revealing zip-up shirt. The “Infinite and Beyond” costume, a much more risque version of Buzz Lightyear, has a revealing bra and not much else. “Ooooh the Claw,” based on the vending-machine creatures, is a costume marked with a figure-fitting metallic leotard and green-tint fishnet tights. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HE’S LITTLE. HE CAN GET INTO PLACES I CAN’T

DENVER — Denver police are looking for a woman who they said robbed a liquor store in Denver with two young children, one of who helped with the robbery. The Denver Police Department (DPD) said at 2:10 p.m., the woman entered a liquor store, located at 9660 East Alameda Avenue, and rummaged through shelves, under the cash registers, and took a large amount of money. Police said the woman had a small boy and girl with her, who were approximately six years old. The six-year-old boy helped in the search for cash behind the counter, according to DPD. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: KENTUCKY, SYRIA, WHAT’S THE DIFF?

ABC issued a correction and apology Monday for reportedly using video from a Kentucky gun range while falsely claiming it depicted a fierce battle between Syrian Kurds and Turkish forces. The network aired the footage on Sunday night and Monday morning, framing it as battlefield video, when, in fact, it appears to be from a night gun demonstration at the Knob Creek Gun Range in West Point, Kentucky. The footage first aired on Sunday’s “World News Tonight” as anchor Tom Llamas claimed it showed a Turkish attack on a group of Kurdish civilians in a Syrian border town. The chyron beneath the video read: “CRISIS IN SYRIA. ISIS prisoners escape as death toll rises in attack.” “CORRECTION: We’ve taken down video that aired on “World News Tonight” Sunday and “Good Morning America” this morning that appeared to be from the Syrian border immediately after questions were raised about its accuracy,” the network tweeted. “ABC News regrets the error.” “Good Morning America” also tweeted out a correction on Monday that was identical to the one released by “World News Tonight.” Read More


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