ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT THAT BETWEEN THOSE CHEEKS… NO, NOT DOWN THERE.
In a concerning and baffling new trend, younger Scandinavians are putting nicotine pouches up their buttocks.
Boner Candidate #2: I HAVE A TRADE IN.
A man in Florida attempted to trade in a stolen car to a dealership, that he stole the car from.
Boner Candidate #3: EVERYONE KNOWS THERE ARE DEMONS ON COMMERCIAL FLIGHTS.
Televangelist Kenneth Copeland is taking advantage of his audience for personal gain, again. This time, for a private jet. He argues that commercial flights are full of demons because everyone has been vaccinated.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: WHAT A HEARTLESS MAN
A Daycare worker in Ohio is seen shoving a 4-year old girl to the ground while another teacher walks away. Both teachers were immediately fired.
Boner Candidate #2: NOT THE FRISKY FERRIS WHEEL DUO AGAIN!
A couple was arrested for indecent exposure again. According to police, the couple has a record of indecent exposure.
Boner Candidate #3: I HEARD THAT INHALING HYDROGEN PEROXIDE…
The Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America is fighting a trend of people inhaling hydrogen peroxide through a nebulizer.
