ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: HE NEEDED A NUMBER TWO.
The driver faces disqualification from driving for the excessive speed (Picture: BCH Road Policing) A driver caught speeding at 110mph on the A1 told police it was because he ‘needed the toilet, a number two’. A silver Mercedes was stopped by an unmarked police car near Yaxley in Cambridgeshire. It was seen speeding and undertaking in ‘awful’ weather conditions. An officer from the Beds, Cambs and Herts Roads Policing Unit wrote on Twitter: ‘The “professional” HGV driver was very sorry but he “needed the toilet, a number two”. Err that’s okay then. Reported.’ Drivers caught speeding in excess of 100mph face disqualification from the road rather than penalty points but the decision is at the discretion of the court. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: TAYLOR SWIFT WANTS TO PUSH SOMETHING DOWN OUR THROATS.
Evangelical Christian Franklin Graham is back attacking the LGBTQ community, this time taking social media swings at the Equality Act and singer-songwriter Taylor Swift. The legislation, which passed the House but will never see the light of day under Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, would basically just expand the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to include protections for LGBTQ people. But not according to the far right wing North Carolina-based religious extremist. Graham was angry over the award-winning Swift’s comments urging the White House to support the Equality Act, when she spoke at the MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs). “Regardless of who we are, regardless of how we identify, at the end of this video there was a petition – and there still is a petition for the Equality Act, which basically just says we all deserve equal rights under the law,” Swift said on stage, irking Graham. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: IT WAS THE EYELINER, WASN’T IT? I OVERDID IT ON THE EYELINER.
And the award for worst impersonation of the year goes to… A 38-year-old Utah woman is accused of impersonating her daughter, who’s 17 years younger, to try to avoid new criminal charges during a traffic stop over the weekend. Heather Garcia was busted early Saturday morning in Farmington, a city just north of Salt Lake City, driving without a valid license or a license plate and carrying drugs in her car, according to the Davis County Sheriff’s Office. In court records obtained by CBS affiliate KUTV, police said she told cops her name was Mercedes and she was born in 1998. It didn’t take long for police to learn through a check of her records that Garcia had given them her daughter’s name and age, according to the report. Authorities said the mother, who had active warrants for her arrest, also had a white powdery substance and drug paraphernalia in the vehicle. Garcia was charged with providing false personal information to an officer, possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia, driving with a suspended or revoked license and other offenses. Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: SHE MUST BE SOME KINDA WOMAN
Two men were pulled over last Friday on Ga. 400 after allegedly surpassing were heading to meet a woman. Anthony Lamont Taylor and Swaine Thompson Jr. were arrested on several charges after being pulled over near Haynes Bridge Road, Alpharetta police told Channel 2 Action News. An officer along the freeway spotted the two racing, and the officer’s radar gun clocked them at 111 mph. Police spokeswoman Dana Mullins said the officer questioned Thompson and Taylor, who claimed they weren’t racing and were following each other. “(They said) they were going to visit a female was the reason they were traveling at a high rate of speed and they were following each other,” Mullins said, “but they were actually side by side.” Both men face charges of racing, speeding and reckless driving, among others. Channel 2 reported that their next court date is scheduled for November. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: I’M GONNA SHOOT THE PLACE UP
SARATOGA SPRINGS, Utah — A woman was arrested and faces a charge of threat of terrorism after a dentist’s office recorded a call where she threatened to kill everybody in the building over a rescheduled appointment. The incident prompted a lockdown at a medical facility and dental office in Saratoga Springs Thursday afternoon. Police stated 43-year-old Linda Patricia Morford of Saratoga Springs was supposed to bring her two children for an appointment at 2 p.m. but was late and had to reschedule. The receptionist said the woman became angry about rescheduling and threatened violence. “In a recorded phone call with the dentist receptionist, Linda advised her sometimes in these situations ‘gun people come in and they shoot everyone,’” the document states. “Linda then went on by stating, ‘I’ll be there next Tuesday at 2:00, and if we are five minutes late and you guys make us re-schedule, then I will come in and KILL EVERYBODY, that’s what I’ll do.’ Linda then says ‘Well I might this afternoon because I’m super angry, so watch out.’” Read More
Boner Candidate #3: OH COME ON, YOUR’RE NOT GOING TO DIE.
FORT SMITH, AR (KFSM) — An Arkansas woman spent the last moments of her life on the phone with a 911 operator begging for help — but the dispatcher gave her mockery and contempt.
Debra Stevens, 47, was delivering newspapers last Saturday when her car was swept away by floodwaters. The final, desperate 911 call came at 4:38 on the morning of August 24. It was a panicked, 22-minute plea for help with a dispatcher that the Fort Smith Police Department admitted sounded “calloused and uncaring at times.” The Fort Smith Police Department has released her 911 call, which you can listen to in the video above. We warn you, some may find it difficult to listen to. (Update: The 911 audio has been edited to remove the final moments of the call.) “I have an emergency — a severe emergency,” Stevens told the female dispatcher. “I can’t get out, and I’m scared to death, ma’am. Can you please help me?” A terrified Stevens told the dispatcher over and over that she was going to die in the rapidly rising water. Read More
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