Boner of the Day

Boners (Round One and Two) for April 5th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I AM BADLY STUCK

According to the Utah County Sheriff’s Office, deputies responded to Spanish Fork Canyon near mile marker 204 along US 6 on March 27. Employees with the Union Pacific Railroad reported they discovered a lock on a gate had been cut open and someone with a large flatbed truck was trespassing about 50 yards from the railroad tracks. The employees further reported wire stolen from their company was stacked on that flatbed truck. Deputies found the vehicle’s owner trying to get the flatbed out of the mud, but said it was “badly stuck”. The man denied cutting the wire down and told deputies he was in the area doing a clean up for a non-profit organization. The press release states the man told deputies he planned to sell the copper wire for cash.

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Boner Candidate #2: HAIRDRESSER ON FIRE

Footage shows the hairdresser ditching the scissors to use gel before using a lighter to set his hair on fire. The barber then used two combs to cut and style the flaming hair as the customer smiles nervously in the hot seat.The strange styling technique, which was filmed at a salon in Chennai, south India, sees the hairdresser continue to brush the customer’s burning hair until the flame burned out after 12 seconds. Apparently, the unusual technique has been growing in popularity across India over the past couple of years. Customers are said to pay between $26 and $52 for the maverick haircut, with many salons offering the style without a license to keep up with growing demand, sources claim.

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Boner Candidate #3: BUT THE LADIES LIKE THE UNIFORM

According to the Sheriff’s Office, 46-year-old Brian Hartzler attempted to solicit sexual acts from an undercover detective while in his Tampa Fire Rescue duty uniform. He was charged with one count of soliciting another to commit prostitution. He was booked into Hillsborough County Jail and released on $500 bond early Thursday.  Tampa Fire Rescue spokesman Jason Penny said Hartzler was hired in December 2017. He is still employed with Tampa Fire Rescue, but the agency will make a determination regarding his status once it reviews the information from the Sheriff’s Office, Penny said. Sheriff Chad Chronister said Hartzler’s arrest was part of a Sheriff’s Office operation against human trafficking. The operation targeted “Johns,” men soliciting prostitutes.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: THIS IS NOT A WAR ZONE

A Fox News contributor who appeared on Sean Hannity’s program Wednesday night was widely derided for posing in a tactical vest at the southern U.S. border with Mexico. Lawrence Jones III tweeted several photos of himself posing with U.S. Border Protection agents and appeared on Hannity’s Wednesday show wearing what many mocked as a bulletproof vest. The ill-fitting vest doesn’t appear to have anything in its pouches and other legitimate border patrol agents in the area were not seen in similar protective gear. Critics immediately pounced on Jones for wearing the military-style jacket with a U.S. Customs and Border Protection federal government badge at the border, although he later claimed agents forced him to wear the tactical vest as a safety precaution.

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Boner Candidate #2: I DIDN’T WANT TO TOUCH HIM

A paramedic in Russia’s Far East was sacked from his job after a video surfaced online of him examining the condition of an unresponsive patient by knocking him on the head with his boot. A woman in the town of Blagoveshchensk in the Amur Region called the medics after she saw a man lying in the street. He collapsed due to having too much to drink and was at risk of freezing. An emergency vehicle swiftly arrived on site, but then things went against medical protocol. One of the doctors first stepped over the uncurious person on the ground and then performed the preliminary examination of his condition with his foot.

Boner Candidate #3: IT’S FOR GOOD LUCK.

A passenger has been detained by police for throwing three coins at a plane for good luck before take-off in central China.  CCTV footage of the bizarre incident on Tuesday shows the 31-year-old man tossing the coins from the jet bridge as he was boarding the flight with his family at Wuhan Tianhe International Airport in Hubei province.  As a result of the man’s superstitious actions, Hainan Airlines flight 7783 departing for Urumqi, Xinjiang was delayed for 40 minutes, affecting 101 passengers on the plane, Chinese media reported.  The video shows the man’s wife walking behind him, holding their four-month-old daughter. As he approaches the cabin door, the man slows down and reaches into his pocket before dropping the coins through the narrow gap between the jet bridge and the plane.

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