Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for June 9th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: TUCKER CARLSON; A SENTIENT POLO MALLET

Fox News host Tucker Carlson raged against the social justice movement Black Lives Matter on Monday night, claiming that the movement for racial justice and fair policing was “definitely not about black lives” while warning his viewers to “remember that when they come for you.” Carlson, who has been highly critical of the protests over George Floyd’s death while claiming systemic racism is nonexistent, began Monday’s broadcast of his primetime show by railing against calls for defunding the police. Calling the protests the “Black Lives Matter Riots,” the Fox star claimed liberals didn’t want to abolish the police but instead planned on replacing law enforcement with an armed “woke militia” to patrol cities. “Imagine if the Black Lives Matter rioters had weapons and immunity from prosecution,” Carlson dramatically exclaimed. “That’s what they are talking about. Partisan law enforcement, and partisan law enforcement, incidentally, is hardly without precedent. In fact, it’s the rule in the Third World. This is an attempt to bring it here.” From there, Carlson continued to fear-monger over Black Lives Matter and the “finance moguls” who are funding the movement before expressing concern that Republicans weren’t doing enough to stop Democrats and the social justice movement.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S ABOUT TIME

The U.S. Marine Corps on Friday issued detailed directives about removing and banning public displays of the Confederate battle flag at Marine installations — an order that extended to such items as mugs, posters and bumper stickers. “Current events are a stark reminder that it is not enough for us to remove symbols that cause division — rather, we also must strive to eliminate division itself,” the commandant of the Marine Corps, Gen. David H. Berger, said in a statement on Wednesday. As protests across the United States have erupted over police brutality, pressure has grown on officials to remove monuments and flags seen as symbols of racism. Dozens of statues were removed after a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Va., in 2017, and protesters demonstrating over the death of George Floyd, a black man who died in police custody in Minneapolis, are targeting some that remain. In several states, anger has given way to the damaging or defacing of more than a dozen symbols of the Confederacy.

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