Boner Candidate #1: HEY, DID YA’ GET THAT UZI SUB MACHINE GUN I SENT YA’? IT WAS IN THE MAIL DAYS AGO.
Firearms dealer, Steve Thompson, mailed a machine gun with the United States Postal Service, where it was then lost. The gun was shipped from Portage, Ohio, on February 4th. Thompson sold the gun for $25,000 and insured it for $20,000. The gun was sent as registered mail, meaning it was meant to travel under the most secure services. The Gun was then lost just days later in a mail processing facility in Detroit, Michigan. Thompson now fears that it may be used in a shooting, and is begging for answers about its where abouts to prevent this. “Clearly somebody in the Detroit plant knows what happened…there’s gotta be some finger pointing, and nobody’s admitting anything.” He goes on to say, “If it turns up at a shooting somewhere in Detroit in a couple weeks…that’s kind of what I’m trying to avoid here.”
Boner Candidate #2: OK, HOSER. LET’S NOT BE USING THE EMERGENCY NUMBER FOR THIS KIND OF THING. SO, TAKE OFF!
Tuesday night at the Delta Center, the Utah Mammoths won against the Edmonton Oilers. This was a time for celebration for many Utah fans, but not for the Oilers and their fans. On Wednesday, the Alberta Police reminded the public that 911 is for emergency situations. “Last night, #rcmpalberta received a 911 call from a man asking where the Oilers could get a starting goalie. We understand that in Canada, this could be an emergency to some. However, this is not a valid reason to dial 911.” Salt Lake City Police are reminding people that 911 is for emergencies, even in Canada.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #3: CAN YOU BE A VICTIM IF YOU ARE A WILLING PARTICIPANT?
Thursday afternoon Melania Trump invited reporters to the White House to give a statement about Jeffrey Epstein. Melania went on to clear her “good name” by explaining that she had no relationship with him, and was not a victim or at all involved in his crimes. She said she wanted to address rumors about how she met her husband, the President of the United States. “The lies linking me with the disgraceful Jeffrey Epstein need to end today.” She talked about “numerous fake images and statements about Epstein and me” that “have been percolating for years now.” It is not known why she decided to speak about this now, or what reports she is referring too. Allegedly Mr. Trump knew that his wife was going to make this statement.
