Boner Candidate #1: SOMETIMES YOU NEED A LITTLE DRINKY-POO TO GET THROUGH THE SCHOOL DAY.
A Davis School District teacher is caught drunk at school. The teacher, who works with young adult students in special education, was, “talking slowly, slurring her speech and seemed to be disoriented.” Witnesses also noted she smelled of alcohol. “Our district security investigator then responded to the situation, the educator was removed from school and was immediately put on leave.” The district admin informed the police that they had performed a sobriety test at the school, which the had teacher failed. They then drove the teacher to the hospital where they tested her blood alcohol levels. She was indeed intoxicated, over 5 times the legal amount to drive a car. The teacher admitted during the investigation that she had “hard seltzer in a stainless-steel tumbler that she did consume that morning.” A cup that was allegedly drank out of by a non-verbal student at the facility. The teacher “was removed from her classroom, leaving the bottle of alcohol unattended. Two days after the teacher was reported, district officials learned that a student had “picked up the tumbler and brought the straw to her mouth,” though it’s unclear if the student drank from the cup.
Boner Candidate #2: MY PLAN WAS TO GET THEM TO ASSAULT ME.
High school kids in Phoenix organized an anti-ICE school walkout last January when a masked man approached the children with a a hand gun and extra magazines. The police were promptly called, where they then took no action to stop the armed man. That’s because he was a police officer. Sgt. Dusten Mullen of the Phoenix police department was planning to act as a armed man to entice the children to assault him. A Phoenix police spokesperson confirmed Mullen remains employed and is not on leave while their Professional Standards Bureau looks into what happened. According to the report Mullen told officers his plan was to let students assault him so they could be arrested. One of the students, a teen girl, was arrested for assault and disorderly conduct for throwing water at the police officer. She was reported as throwing a bottle at the man, but is clearly seen in videos, merely splashing him with water.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: THE PUNCHLINE IS…’UTAH HAS BEEN DOWNWIND BEFORE.’ LOL.
Seth Cohen, a lawyer, makes a joke out of the safety of Utahns while leading a meeting about nuclear energy in Utah. Valar Atomics plans to start up a nuclear reactor in Utah this summer. Last summer, a group of officials from the Department of Energy gathered at the Idaho National Laboratory with the intent to discuss the future of nuclear energy in the Trump era. The meeting was organized by Cohen, just five years out of law school, and with no significant experience in nuclear law or policy. When staff brought up the topic of radiation exposure from nuclear test sites, Cohen interrupted, “They are testing in Utah. … I don’t know, like 70 people live there.” “But … there’s lots of babies,”” one staffer pushed back. Children, pregnant women and other vulnerable groups are potentially more susceptible to cancers brought on by low-level radiation exposure, and they are usually given greater protections for this. “They’ve been downwind before,” another staffer joked. The records of this meeting provide a look into how the Trump administration is upending the way nuclear energy is regulated, pushing out professionals, and driven by a desires to increase energy and make money.
