
Boner Candidate #1: I’M A PROFESSIONAL.
An unnamed Colorado man was arrested at the beginning of the month after driving under the influence and causing a multi-vehicle crash. When asked how many drinks he’d had, the driver said 10 but then also responded with, “Hey, hey, hey, I’m gonna tell you right now, like, I’m a professional drinker.” When breathalyzed as well, the driver’s BAC was .326. Fortunately, the crash didn’t injure anyone involved.
via WCAX
!!WINNER!!
Boner Candidate #2: WE’RE UP TO OUR EYEBALLS IN UNCLAIMED BODIES
An important lawyer from North Carolina named Karen Wandel, was notified last year that her estranged father had died in South Carolina, and his body had been sent to be used for medical research after no one had claimed the body. “I just want somebody to look me in the eye and say, ‘What we did was wrong, and we are sorry. We are sorry to your family, and we’re sorry that your father suffered this indignity.’ Particularly after he served his country,” said Wandel. Wandel talks about how her relationship with her parents growing up had been hard, and she had spent most of her time in foster care, but through all that, her father had shown up for her in other ways. Wandel says, “I would have been there,” if she had known her dad was sick and dying.
via DNYUZ
Boner Candidate #3: HE JACKASS CREW REALLY ARE JACKASSES
Jamie Foxx had an altercation with the crew members of Dickhouse Productions, the company that does Jackass, after a laser pointer in the shape of a penis made Foxx upset. Foxx was having a birthday dinner with family and friends at a restaurant in Beverly Hills, when a laser hologram of a penis appeared on the table. Foxx was upset by this since his young daughters were at the table. Foxx and some others from his party, went upstairs to the VIP section of the restaurant where the laser was coming from. Allegedly, when Foxx and his friends confronted the holiday party of Dickhouse Productions in the VIP area, someone threw a glass at Foxx’s face, ending in his mouth being cut. Foxx left the restaurant for stitches. Police are currently investigating the altercation.
via TMZ
