Boner Candidate #1: A CAN OF FOUR LOKOS, A FEW SHOTS OF CROWN AND A COUPLE OF HITS OF WEED AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS.
A Florida woman who was trying to get revenge on her cheating ex boyfriend vandalize the wrong car. The 18 year old woman and er 16 year old friend have been facing charges after she attempted to get revenge. Deputies in Deltona responded to a call stating a a young woman spray painting a car. When the deputies arrived at the scene they found the two girls, one even had spray paint on her pants. When they were questioned the 18 year old admitted that she was trying to get back at her ex boyfriend and decided to spray paint his car and throw eggs at it. Turns out it was in fact not his car but his neighbors. When the girls were searched they found two Four Lokos, empty bottle of Crown Royal bottle, and marijuana and a ca of yellow spray paint, all in the girls possession. The 18 year old has been charged with criminal mischief, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, possession of alcohol under 21 and driving under the influence. Along with the 16 year old being charged with possession of marijuana over 20 grams.
Boner Candidate #2: WE ARE ELECTING MORONS
Rep. Joe Wilson, announced he is drafting legislation to create a $250 bill featuring the pouting visage of Donald Trump. Wilson takes it to Twitter stating “Bidenflation has destroyed the economy forcing American families to carry more cash.” Joe thinks that the real problem with inflation isn’t the fact that families can’t afford grocery’s or housing. But the fact that Americans having to fold to many $100 bills into their wallets. Wilson went on to say that this would be “the most valuable bill for the most valuable President!” Many people have questions one of them being, will the bills automatically devalue themselves after filing for bankruptcy?
!!! Winner !!!
Boner Candidate #3: THIS MONSTEROUS BEHAVIOR DESERVES A SENTENCE OF LIFE IN PRISON.
Utah officials investigate after they found 11 raptor species were illegally killed in Beaver County. State wildlife officers are asking for the publics help as they investigat the string of illegally killed birds in Beaver County the past few months. Eleven hawk and owl species have been found since December near Manderfild. All 11 raptor species have been shot with firearms while near roosters or inside barns. Jeremy Butler a Resources officer said that some of these cases may have involved trespassing. Butler released a statement and said “Based on witness reports, it is believed that individuals are shooting raptors from their resting locations at nighttime, and those involved have even trespassed on private property and shot within close proximity to homes during these incidents.” Hawks, owls and other raptor species are protected by multiple state and federal laws. In Utah killing raptors can result in a misdemeanor offence in utah. Though killing as many as five or one bald eagle or peregrine falcon or any species listed as endangered can elevate to a third degree felony. A conviction can result in fines, fees and even jail time.
