Boner Candidate #1: IF HE’D BEEN WEARING A GREYHOUND ONSIE HE MIGHT HAVE GOTTEN AWAY
36 year old, Dylan Keith Devereaux was arrested Jan. 27th for leading authorities on a wild goose chase all well wearing a Dalmatian onesie. Around 12 a.m. officers attempted to pull Deveraux over for driving recklessly, at a high speed rate. Well Deveraux was on the run he ended up crashing into a tree and than took off running. To stop Dylan enforcement officers shot him with a stun gun. After falling to the ground he ensued another fight he was shot again by the stun gun. Devereaux escaped one more time on foot into the woods, a 3 year old K-9 tracked him to his nearby home. Devereaux girlfriend was at the home when she told troopers she did not want them near her home since she had drugs in the home and did not want to go to jail. After authorities found drugs inside the home they arrested the girlfriend. Than Dylan was left with some hefty charges, them being fleeing to elude, escaping, reckless driving, leaving the scene involving property damage, battery on a law enforcement officer, assault on a law enforcement officer, resisting an officer with violence, resisting an officer without violence, depriving a law enforcement officer of equipment, drug equipment possession, possession of a new legend drug, possession of methamphetamine, and petit larceny.
Boner Candidate #2: HIS CONDUCT WAS SIGNIFICANTLY SHORT OF THE STANDARDS EXPECTED
A swim teacher has been banned from the profession when he kept falling over in the schools pool after drinking rose wine straight from the bottle. He was found “slurring his words, had bloodshot eyes and couldn’t focus or remain orientated” all well he had a class in session. The rose wine that had been bought during his lunch break was later found in the staffs bathroom. The teacher admitted admitted to drinking the wine in a near by park. Along with that he had been taking medication with the wine. By the time he was teaching, he was “unsteady on his feet, struggling to speak articulately and unable to focus or remain orientated.” The teacher admitted he was “not in a fit state” to be responsible for his class. Knight also was working as an ambulance care assistant. He has been found guilty and been band from teaching for 2 years.
Boner Candidate #3: LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I’M NANCY MACE. LOOK AT ME!
Nancy Mace South Carolina Rep. erupted into a anti-trans rant. Mace started with “USAID has become rotten to its core, sacrificing the prudent use of ax payer dollars at the altar of advancing, radical, sinister, social political agendas abord. From discriminatory DEI initiatives to extreme gender ideology to marginalize real bonafide biological women for decades.” Mace continued the rant by saying USAID (United States Agency for International Development) “…Funding some of the dumbest, I mean stupidest…just dumb initiatives imaginative. All supported by the left.” She goes onto say listing off $2 million funding gender-affirming care in Guatemala, Mace says “Does this advance the interest of American citizens? Paying for trannies in Guatemala to tune of $2million dollars? Yes or no?” Democratic Virginia Rep. Gerry Connolly urged not to use such words because the LGBTQ community and trans community considered the word as a slur. Mace than yelled out “Tranny, Tranny, tranny! I don’t really care. You want penises in women’s bathrooms, and I’m not gonna have it. No, thank you. It’s disgusting”
