!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #1: AN ABHORRENT VIOLATION OF BASIC DECENCY
Legal Afghan reporter, Zia S., has been detained by masked ICE agents during a routine green card appointment. Zia is a former military interpreter that assisted American troops in Afghanistan for 5 years, and immigrated legally in 2024 with a Special Immigrant Visa. Lauren Cundick Petersen, Zia’s attorney, has said, “Zia has done everything right. He’s followed the rules. He has no criminal history”. It has been said that this detention is a violation of basic trust, and betrayal. Connecticut Senator Richard Blumenthal said during a press conference, “Put aside the legal causes and the issues here for unmasked agents to snatch someone off the street with no warning, no counsel, no opportunity even to know who is doing it while it’s in process is un-American”.
Boner Candidate #2: WE GAVE THEM SMORES AND THEY LEFT US WITH FLIES AND ROTTEN MEAT
Abandoned meat shop in Ogden has locals complaining about a terrible smell. There is a meat shop nearby a neighborhood in Ogden, which has been abandoned for months. Neighborhood residents claim that they haven’t seen anyone go in or out of the shop since March, and the smell has been getting worse ever since. A resident said, “It smells like there’s like 100 bodies in there rotting. It’s just so bad”. According to the resident, the neighbors have filed several complaints since March, and has just now started to be taken care of. Luckily, the extent of the harm is just the smell, there is no threat to the public from the spoiled meat.
Boner Candidate #3: MIKE LEE….FOOLED AGAIN.
Senator Mike Lee fell for a very clearly fake picture about the resignation of Fed Chair Jerome Powell. Lee posted on X, “Powell’s out!” with siren emojis, and the picture itself. In this ‘resignation letter’, there is lots of weird spelling mishaps, and an obvious AI generated Federal Reserve seal on the bottom. Lee has since deleted the post, and posted “[I]t occurred to me seconds after I posted it that I hadn’t seen it anywhere else, so I deleted it out of an abundance of caution. I don’t know whether it’s legit or not”. Mike Lee is now being roasted online for this embarrassing post, one user saying “wild that a sitting US Senator fell for such an obvious AI fake”.
