WINNER!
Boner Candidate #1: NOW I WAS JUST AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE KLAN, BUT I AM PRO-WHITE MAN.
In Missouri, a man named Darrell McClanahan III was put on the unofficial GOP ballot for Republicans. However, another Republican of Missouri, Shamed Dogan, posted on X that McClanahan is part of white supremacism groups. There are photographs of McClanahan in front of a burning cross with a Ku Klux Klan member in their white hood, while giving a Nazi salute. This has had McClanahan come back and say, “Shamed Dogan I would like to respectfully request that you cease and desist from making defamatory statements about me on the X platform. Your statement about me being a cross-burning KKK member and white supremacist is false and damaging to my reputation.” McClanahan has said that he is not actually a part of the KKK but just an honorary member.
Boner Candidate #2: I HEARD THAT ZINC HELPS IN WEIGHTLIFTING
An unnamed 26 year old man in New Delhi, India showed up the hospital with vomiting and abdominal pain that had lasted for almost a month. When doctors did an X-ray, they found the man had large amounts of metal in his stomach and small intestine, which was approximately 39 coins and 37 magnets. The man underwent emergency surgery to remove the coins and magnets. When asked, the man said he allegedly thought the zinc from the coins and magnets would help him with his weightlifting. However, mass amounts of zinc are less helpful, as they can lead to zinc poisoning.
via New York Post
Boner Candidate #3: THEY WAS TOSSIN’ AROUND EARL THE PIGLET LIKE HE WAS A FOOTBALL
This past month, three men at a Mardi Gras parade in Louisiana were seen throwing what appeared to be a football around. When a bystander got closer, however, they realized it was a small, live piglet. The piglet was rescued and adopted by Republican Representative Lauren Ventrella, and named the piglet Earl “Piglet” Long. “As a Republican, sometimes we like to cut the pork. But, I will tell you this is the pork we won’t be cuttin'” said Ventrella.
