Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for March 26th, 2019

Round 1

Candidate #1: THIS IS JUST A WASTE OF BEER

Beer spas have been hugely popular overseas for years, but the first of its kind just opened in Chicago on the Northwest Side. Piva Beer Spa’s co-owner Dino Sarancic says soaking in a tub of warm beer has proven to be good for your skin and soothing for the body. The spa even features beer-based skin products and soaps, which they say will help cure what “ales” you. There’s also a warm and colorful salt cave, which promises healing capabilities for asthma and allergies, and yoga classes that take place inside the cave. Participants say the whole experience feels rejuvenating.

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Candidate #2: YOU WHAT? YOU RESCUED A CAT? WELL, I’M SORRY. YOU ARE SUSPENDED.

Verizon has raised controversy by suspending an employee hailed as a hero for using a bucket truck to rescue a cat stranded atop a Philadelphia utility pole. A video captured March 16 in the Port Richmond neighborhood shows Verizon employee Maurice German using his bucket truck to rescue the stranded cat from the very top of the pole. A Verizon spokesman said German was suspended by the company for violating safety protocols.”All of our field technicians go through extensive training that is focused on workplace safety. Our goal is to keep our employees and our customers out of harm’s way,” the spokesman told WPVI-TV.

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Candidate #3: I DON’T THINK ANY OF THE PASSENGERS NOTICED DO YOU?

Passengers on a British Airways flight from London to Düsseldorf, Germany, were left bewildered on Monday when their plane landed in Scotland by mistake. A blunder with paperwork seems to have been the problem: British Airways said a German company that had chartered the plane, WDL Aviation, had submitted the wrong route to air traffic controllers. “We are working with WDL Aviation, who operated this flight on behalf of British Airways, to establish why the incorrect flight plan was filed,” British Airways said in a statement. The flight, BA3271, which took off from London City Airport, did not seem to have been in any danger; because of the incorrect paperwork, the crew — including the pilot — and air traffic controllers had all apparently believed that Edinburgh was the plane’s intended destination. That came as small comfort to the passengers when flight attendants informed them that they had landed in the Scottish capital, about 520 miles from their intended destination.

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Round 2

Candidate #1: I WOKE UP AND SAID TO MYSELF, “MR. YANG. TRY SOMETHING NEW TODAY.”

A bank robbery suspect in Wisconsin had an interesting motive for the alleged crime: He “decided to try something new today, so I robbed a bank.” Appleton police arrested 19-year-old Xengxai Yang Friday evening after he allegedly entered a local credit union wearing a mask, displayed a weapon and then left the bank with money. According to the criminal complaint obtained by the Appleton Post-Crescent, Yang allegedly demanded $10,000 from the Community First Credit Union and used a zip tie to bind the teller’s hands after he got the cash. The suspect left the credit union still wearing the mask and employees alerted the police.
A short time later, an officer in the immediate area noticed a masked man fitting the suspect’s description walking through the credit union’s parking lot, according to an Appleton Police Department release.
The officer arrested the man, identified as Yang.

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Candidate #2: STALKING ON STEROIDS

It began in August with a tow-truck company that showed up at Walt Gilmore’s North Salt Lake home. “He said, ‘We’re here to take a car from your driveway,'” recalled Gilmore. “I said, ‘No, you’re not.'” But that was just the beginning. For the next seven months, the parade of people showing up to Gilmore’s house expecting to provide services has been nearly nonstop. A warning sign and a police officer’s vehicle are stationed at Walt Gilmore’s home on Thursday, March 21, 2019.  “Electricians, plumbers, people wanting to trim my trees. Tow trucks are the biggest concern to us,” he said. “I’d have up to 20 people per day coming to my home offering services and telling me that I asked them to come.”
While some might think Gilmore is the victim of someone’s ultimate prank, he said it’s no laughing matter — especially since not all of the people who are showing up are offering services or even have good intentions. “They have police records. Criminals. Felons. Active warrants for their arrests coming to my home. They’re looking for drugs. They’re offering prostitution. And it’s pretty concerning to me, my family, and my entire neighborhood that these folks are there,” he said. “These are individuals who come to our home in the middle of the night — 10, 11 o’clock, 1, 2, 3 in the morning. Five-thirty this morning I had another one out there, I had to call the police.” North Salt Lake police say they have never seen a stalking case like this one before. ” Today’s technology allows him to be at my front door right now. And that is incredibly emotional for my family and me. ”

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Candidate #3: LOOK, WE GOT A BUNCH A KIDS…7 OR 8 AT LEAST…AND SHE’S SMALL; EASY TO OVERLOOK.

Deputies in Palm Beach County, Florida have arrested the parents of a toddler found wandering around a park alone Friday evening. Jolanda Larose Alexandre and Makenson Alexandre each face a charge of neglect of a child, according to the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office. The sheriff’s office posted pictures of the girl on the station Facebook page after she was found by herself at Haverhill Park around 8 p.m., in hopes someone would know who she was. It wasn’t until 11:40 a.m. Saturday that the Alexandres, who have seven other children, called 911 to report the girl missing, according to the sheriff’s office. Jolanda Alexandre, 27 – whose first name is also spelled Yolanda, according to the Palm Beach Post – told authorities she and Makenson took the children to the park to play for an hour before bringing them home in her SUV. Jolanda said she assumed the girl was playing outside and fell asleep that evening, according to the paper, then woke up Saturday morning and “began looking frantically for” the child.

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