Boners

Boner of the Day for May 2nd, 2019

Round 1

Candidate #1: GRAVEY

A Des Moines man is accused of having child pornography on his computer.  Police say Robert Watson took his computer into a repair shop in August of 2018 where employees found the explicit images.
According to court documents, Watson brought the computer to a repair shop because he had spilled gravy on it, rendering it unusable.
He purchased a new computer and asked employees to transfer his old files to his new computer. During the process, employees found multiple images they believe contained child pornography. Both computers were collected by police as evidence. Watson is in the Polk County Jail.

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Candidate #2: I TOLD HER, IT’S NOT RICKY, IT’S RICK. RICK DAMN IT.

Rick Schroder is in jail after an early morning bust for allegedly striking his girlfriend … and it’s the second time cops have hauled him in for alleged domestic violence. Cops got a call around 12:43 AM for a domestic incident at the “NYPD Blue” and “Silver Spoons” star’s home. When they arrived they spoke to him and his girlfriend — and shortly after that, Schroder was arrested for felony domestic violence … according to our law enforcement sources. The fact he was booked for a felony typically means the victim had visible marks of some kind. We’re told Schroder’s girlfriend refused medical treatment on the scene. Turns out, the L.A. County Sheriff’s Dept. made almost the exact same arrest 30 days ago. Our sources say Schroder was taken into custody on April 2 … also for felony domestic violence.

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Candidate #3: WITHOUT SEEING IT IT’S HARD TO SAY, BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN EMBARRASSING

Breyanna Dean has been held after she reportedly stole the man’s phone and posted explicit pictures of his genitals using his own social media profiles. The 24-year-old was attempting to extort money out of the man by sharing the snaps online, reports Smoking Gun. She has been held on charges of extortion after being arrested in New Port Richey, Florida. Police reports claim she maliciously posted pictures of a male victim’s genitalia and then sought payment from him to “stop her actions”. Cops said she posted pictures “across multiple social media platforms in direct messages”. The man – who is not identified in court papers – is believed to been in a relationship with the mum-of-three.

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Round 2

Candidate #1: YOU VIOLATED COMPANY POLICY.

Charlene Lust says she has no doubt that what she saw in a Macomb County auto plant in February was a noose. Seeing the rope hanging in an area where she was coming to help a coworker clean up, Lust said she was overcome by a feeling of sadness. “I literally almost fainted. I’ve never seen one,” Lust said from her living room on Detroit’s west side this month. “When I saw the noose, I was like stuck.” She snapped a photo of the rope, which she believes was left as a message to African Americans like her, in the area of the plant’s paint shop. It reminded her of the day in 2015 she helped nab a pedophile, an action that garnered her a civilian citation from the Warren Police Department.

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Candidate #2: I HEAR THE BURGERS SUCK

A burger joint in Illinois is receiving a lot of attention after one customer called the restaurant out for displaying a controversial bumper sticker, which some are calling offensive. Sam Schnelle, a customer at Gross’ Burgers in Danville, Ill., took to Facebook on Friday to share a photo of the sticker in question, which read: “If you can’t read this, thank a Marine.” The message pointed to Arabic writing and displayed the acronym for the United States Marine Corp. But Schnelle called it “absolutely disgusting,” while others say that it is a sign of “racism.” “Come for the burgers, stay for the blatant racism!” one person commented on the post. Another wrote, “If you can read it, thank yourself for being a multicultural human and not a xenophobic garbage human.”

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Candidate #3: I COULD TELL THAT THIS OFFICE NEEDED SOME HELP

Deputies in Charlotte County were looking for a man earlier this week who broke into the business office of Custom Pools by Precision on Tamiami Trail in Port Charlotte on Saturday, April 27. Once inside, the man made himself at home, using the computer to surf the web and helping himself to a drink out of the fridge. But the weirdest thing is what he left in the window – a sign saying, “Secretary wanted, $17.00 per hour.” Deputies posted a picture of the man to Facebook and say tips helped identify him as 28-year-old Jeffrey Bellomo. Those tips arrived within hours after the story was posted to the sheriff’s office page on Monday. Bellomo was arrested and charged with burglary, grand theft auto and petit theft. The Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office thanked the public for their help.

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