Boner Candidate #1: WELL, PEOPLE ARE SAYING AND I’M HEARING THAT THIS IS TRUE.
Texas is on the works of passing a bill, known as the FURRIES Act. It would ban non-human behaviors in public schools, including the use of litter boxes and animal accessories. Rep. Stan Gerdes claims schools were providing litter boxes for students who act as “furries.” When questioned about when and where this is happening he could not find an example. The bill has been left pending in committee. He announced the bill in a press release. He stated he has heard reports of “furry related incident” at Smithville ISD school. Gerdes claims him and an superintendent and that the conversation was “extremely concerning.” He stated “I was informed that this is happening in districts across the state, and they do not have tools to prohibit these types of distractions.” However during a school meeting on March 31, the district provided a release debunking those claims. The district stated “At this time, the District has no concerns related to students behaving as anything but typical children, Rep. Gerdes contacted Superintendent Cheryl Burns to ask if there were any litter boxes for students on District campuses. Burns informed Rep. Gerdes that there were not, but as courtesy to Rep. Gerdes, Mrs. Burns made the extra effort to walk the campus to confirm that there were no litter boxes.”
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: BETRAYING YOUR FALLEN COMMRADES IS ABOUT AS LOW AS Y OU CAN GO.
A retired firefighter has been accused of misusing funds while serving as an treasurer for the Utah Firefighters Emerald Society made his first court appearance on Thursday. A new leadership of the nonprofit organization came on the board during April of 2024, that when they noticed funds misused that would have been handled by Christopher Thurman. The group was founded in 2014 to provide services for fallen first responders. The vice president of the group stated “It is an honor for us to do. It was founded by a few firefighters who are professional firefighters here in the state, the majority of us are current firefighters.” The Utah Firefighters Emerald Society travels around the country to preform at memorials. They found questionable withdrawals, about $22,000 was missing. The missing funds have been a set back for the group, not allowing Emerald Society to travel as much and have money to maintain their instruments.
Boner Candidate #3: GROW UP!
A popular high school game called “assassination game” has caused police to establish a perimeter around the West Jordan hospital on Wednesday after following an incident involving the game. The student is 18 year old Miles White, he has been arrested and faces on charge on Threat of Terrorism. According the the arrest documents they state that a witnesses at the Jordan Valley Hospital told the police they saw two people walk inside ask if it was a hospital. One of the men was holding was a witness said appeared to look like a gun before the both took off running. Video footage shows the two men entering the hospital with one holding an object that is pointed at the other. Due to the incident the hospital called police and asked personnel if lockdown was protocol should be initiated. They said yes because of the seriousness of the call, officers formed a perimeter around the hospital. When police found White he admitted to officers that he was playing a game called Senior Assassination. He stated he chased a friend into the hospital, with the weapon in question but it was actually a Nerf gun used to “shoot” his friend.
