Boners

Boner of the Day for May 30th, 2019

Round 1

Candidate #1: LEAVE ONLY FOOTPRINTS…AND TONS OF TRASH.

Partygoers attending a “Floatopia” event spent the day drinking and bobbing in the Virginia Beach surf. And then they left behind tons of trash. “Leave nothing but footprints,” is akin to the Golden Rule for nature. The attendees of Sunday’s event at Chic’s Beach failed miserably at following it.
Nearby residents awoke on Memorial Day with the trash from the previous day’s event covering the beach: floats, collapsible canopies, boogie boards, bottles and more. On a normal weekend, public works employees collect about a ton of trash from the area. This weekend, they collected 10 tons — 20,000 pounds.  Virginia Beach spokesperson Drew Lankford told CNN the event was not city-sponsored or sanctioned. The event began with a Facebook invite and spread through word of mouth.

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Candidate #2: LIKE WHAT DO WE PAY YOU GUYS FOR?

A St. Johns County man has been arrested on multiple charges after deputies say he fled a traffic stop and then calling to brag about it. Nicholas Jones, 19, was arrested on May 5 for reckless driving, fleeing and eluding, misusing 911 and violation of probation after doing a ‘burnout’ during a traffic stop and then calling to ask 911 why he had not yet been caught. According to a St. John’s County Sheriff’s Office arrest report, a deputy was trying to pull over a white Hyundai for a traffic stop when the car took off, squealing its tires and speeding out of a parking lot on South Woodlawn Street.
Roughly an hour later, the report says that a subject called 911 and advised the following:t Subject: “I want to know…. I like ran from a cop 30 minutes to an hour ago. I was the guy… that… over there off of Kings Estates. Like what do we pay you guys for… like I’ve driven past 4 cops. SJSO Dispatcher: “What do you mean you ran from a cop?” Subject: “I mean he turned his lights on me and got behind me

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Candidate #3: COULD THIS WHITE HOUSE BE MORE PETTY?

White House and U.S. Navy officials confirmed late Wednesday that they had tried to keep the name of the USS John S. McCain hidden during President Trump’s visit to Japan so that it would not appear in any pictures. Much has been made of White House staff working to keep their boss calm and Twitter-tantrum-free, and this may have been the motive for a May 15 email between U.S. Navy and Air Force officials that included the line, “USS John McCain needs to be out of sight,” The Wall Street Journal reported on Wednesday.
The ship was named after McCain’s father and grandfather, and his name was added in 2018 just before the senator succumbed to brain cancer at age 81. Trump denied any knowledge that aides had shielded him from seeing the name of the warship during his trip to Japan over Memorial Day weekend.

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Round 2

Candidate #1: YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN THEM THE FRIES.

Police have arrested one woman and are looking for a second after an alleged assault on a Miami Burger King manager over french fries in April. Natasha Ethel Bagley, 42, faces charges of armed burglary with assault or battery, attempted robbery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief, court records show. Bagley and her girlfriend, 27-year-old Genesis Peguero, went to the fast food at restaurant April 2 and asked for free fries at the drive-thru, according to an arrest report obtained by WTVJ. When an employee refused, the two women allegedly parked and walked into the restaurant. Peguero hopped over the counter and, with her hands in her pockets, claimed she had a pistol and demanded the manager give them all of the money in the register, according to police.

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Candidate #2: TIME FOR THE SLAVE AUCTION!

Mock slave auctions at a private school in Bronxville, New York, in which white students were urged by a fifth grade teacher to bid on black classmates, “had a profoundly negative effect” on the children, a state investigation found. The New York State Attorney General’s Office on Wednesday announced its findings in the probe into the incidents in March at The Chapel School, and said the school has agreed to diversify its staff and student body. The school enrolls students in prekindergarten through eighth grade, 43 percent of whom are minorities, according to the school. As part of the agreement, the school must hire a chief diversity officer approved by state Attorney General Letitia James.
“Every young person — regardless of race — deserves the chance to attend school free of harassment, bias and discrimination,” James said in a statement. “Lessons designed to separate children on the basis of race have no place in New York classrooms, or in classrooms throughout this country. I thank The Chapel School for agreeing to take measures that directly address the issues of race, diversity and inclusion at the school.”

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Candidate #3: I’M A NURSE. I KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR MY CHILD

A licensed nurse suspected of suffering from Munchausen syndrome by proxy is accused of misleading doctors in several states regarding her 10-year-old daughter, who needlessly had a pacemaker, feeding tube and IV port installed, authorities said. Alisha Newman, 34, was charged Tuesday in Milwaukee with physical abuse of a child causing great bodily harm and child neglect after taking her daughter to see a pediatric gastroenterologist at Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin this month, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports. The girl, who appeared severely ill, was admitted to a pediatric ICU unit after being diagnosed on May 7 with severe shock and a litany of other ailments, including acute renal failure, damage to her organs and acidosis, according to a criminal complaint obtained by the newspaper. Tests revealed that the girl had a common gut bacteria and was put on antibiotics for 10 days, her second hospitalization in two months with a severe infection, according to the criminal complaint. Five weeks earlier, the girl endured a 21-day hospital stay in Oklahoma for Klebsiella sepsis and

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