Boner Candidate #1: I’M AFRAID WE HAVE TO CONFISCATE THE GOAT GUTS.
When entering customs through airlines, it’s best to be honest about what you’re carrying with you. U.S. Customs and Border Protection Agricultural Specialists have confiscated a torn apart goat with parts including trachea, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, and entire digestive system. Michael Pfeiffer, Area Port Director of Chicago said, “Items like these can harbor pests and diseases, if introduced into our agriculture systems or natural resources, could cause significant damage to our food supply or native species. Our agriculture specialists are dedicated to protecting these essential American resources from foreign pests and diseases.”
via MSN
Boner Candidate #2: DONNY YEATS DOES NOT…I, REPEAT…DOES NOT LIVE HERE!
A Florida man attempted to avoid the cops by placing a huge sign outside of his house that claims, “Johnny Yates does NOT live here!!” The Sheriffs office wrote on Facebook, “When the deputies arrived they noticed a note written on a dry-erase board in front of a window that said, ‘Johnny Yates does NOT live here!!’ Gee…a dry-erase board never lied to us before—should we believe it?” Cops questioned an individual who left the house, and they confirmed Johnny was in the house. Sheriffs office stated, “Enough was enough, and the ‘Surrender Smoke’ was dispensed inside the house, and four people exited the home, but no Johnny.”
via NY Post
Boner Candidate #3: THE NASTINESS OF THIS CAMPAIGN IS BEYOND ANYTHING WE’VE SEEN IN ST. GEORGE.
St. George police are investigating vandalism attached to the campaign of Danielle Larkin. Each of her campaign signs has an unofficial sign taped to it stating Danielle, “supports ‘all-ages’ drag shows in public spaces.” Hundreds of cars had sticky notes placed on them stating “Councilwoman Larkin voted yes to drag shows in our community.” Danielle responded, “They are basically saying that because I support the LGBTQ community, I support drag shows being held in front of children in our parks. The reality is [elected officials] in St. George have never voted on whether or not to allow drag shows in our parks. We don’t choose the content of events that can be in our parks but we do vote on whether or not to apply our city codes [governing events] evenly.”
via SL Trib
