Boner Candidate #1: WE’LL KEEP HIM DANGLING UNTIL YOU GET HERE.
In Akron, Ohio earlier this week, police responded to a call at a junkyard about someone breaking into one of the cars in the yard. When police got there, the suspect was being held upside down in the vehicle he was trying to steal by a forklift being operated by one of the junkyard employees. The man inside had been identified by workers in the junkyard, since he had been stealing cars from the junkyard before but gotten away. The man was arrested criminal trespassing and possessing criminal tools.
via 19 News
Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS JUST TRYING TO FUFILL HIS DAILY QUOTA.
A man in Florida by the name of Fabio Fonseca, has been charged with felony drug charges and retail theft. Why may you ask? Fonseca has a daily quota where he needs to have at least $300 in stolen goods. He would go all over the state of Florida to do this, even took orders for people, and was eventually caught in Martin County. Police calls him a “traveling secret retail thief” because when he stole in stores he acted like a secret shopper.
via Fox 35
Boner Candidate #3: JESSIE, KEEP TAFARI CAMPBELL’S NAME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
Fox News anchor Jesse Watters recently aired the 911 phone call from the drowning of Tafari Campbell. Tafari Campbell drowned in Martha’s Vineyard in Massachusetts this past summer , while acting as a chef for the Obama family. Conservatives have been making up conspiracies about the accidental drowning of Campbell, saying he knew too much about the Obama’s, and that the Obama’s had it taken care of. Watters played the 911 phone call and talked about how it wasn’t a normal 911 call and that there were certain things missing that should’ve been mentioned. Watters gives he condolences too the family of Campbell, but what people are saying he needs to do is keep Tafari Campbell’s name out of his mouth.
via Mediaite
