Boner Candidate #1: I KNEW IF THOSE TWO GOT TOGETHER THEY’D TALK CRAP ABOUT ME.
An Ohio jury found Olivia Clendenin, 29, guilty of attempted murder and multiple assault-related charges after she fired eight shots into a Clearcreek Township home during a New Year’s Eve party, seriously injuring a man on the porch. Prosecutors said Clendenin opened fire after discovering her husband and boyfriend were both at the same party and failing to convince her husband to leave. She has not yet been sentenced but faces significant prison time.
Boner Candidate #2: SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANY GENETIC TIES TO US. OH, WE LOVE HER BUT WELL…..
A Florida couple is suing a fertility clinic after discovering their IVF procedure resulted in the implantation of the wrong embryo, and their daughter has no genetic connection to either parent. Tiffany Score and Steven Mills learned of the error through genetic testing after their daughter Shea was born in December 2025. The lawsuit seeks the clinic’s cooperation to identify Shea’s biological parents and locate the couple’s own embryos, rather than significant financial damages.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: I’M JUST GOING WHERE THE VOTERS ARE
Florida Republican gubernatorial candidate James Fishback said he joined Tinder to connect with young female voters and promote his policy ideas, including paid maternity leave. He later asked supporters for donations to pay for Tinder Plus after running out of likes on the app. Fishback, a hedge fund manager, is trailing Rep. Byron Donalds in the GOP primary and has drawn criticism for racist remarks aimed at his opponent. He has also denied past allegations of an inappropriate relationship with a minor that led to a school district cutting ties with him.
