Boner Candidate #1: HE WAS HOPING ONE OF THE CARS CONTAINED SOME PANTS.
A man named Mackienzy Kahl went on a wild carjacking spree in Georgia while wearing only a tablecloth, attempting to steal several vehicles and even breaking into a home to steal car keys. Police were alerted after a stolen vehicle was traced to him, but Kahl fled on foot and was believed to have been exposed to chemicals. Witnesses and surveillance footage revealed Kahl wandering the neighborhood in the tablecloth, trying to enter multiple cars. He was eventually arrested after driving a stolen Mercedes and was charged with multiple crimes, including theft, burglary, and prowling.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #2: CANDACE OWENS…YOU ARE NEXT
Ten people were found guilty of cyberbullying Brigitte Macron by spreading transphobic rumors that she was assigned male at birth. The defendants, aged 40-60, were sentenced to prison, community service, and fines for promoting these harmful conspiracy theories online. The court also ordered the suspension of several social media accounts and required some offenders to attend awareness courses on the impact of cyberharassment.
Boner Candidate #3: MR. SMITH MADE AN UNEXPECTED DEPOSIT
An Ohio man, Jason G. Smith, was arrested after accidentally sending a bag of crystal meth through a bank’s drive-thru tube during a routine transaction. The bank employee noticed the unusual “deposit” and alerted authorities, who tracked Smith down nearly 200 miles away. A K9 search of his truck uncovered more drug-related items, leading to Smith’s arrest, though his formal charges have not yet been disclosed.
