Boner Candidate #1: HEY, WHEN THE BEEBS HAS GOT TO GO, THE BEEBS HAS GOT TO GO.
Justin Bieber was photographed urinating in the bushes at a golf course in Palm Springs after drinking a can of beer while playing a round with friends. The incident, which took place on Sunday, showed the singer casually relieving himself with one hand on his golf club and his pants slightly lowered. Although public urination is a misdemeanor in California, it is unclear whether Bieber was on a public or private course, and no legal action has been reported yet.
Boner Candidate #2: DID HE RUN A MOTEL? WAS HE INTO TAXIDERMY? THE NEWS REPORT DOESN’T PROVIDE THOSE DETAILS.
An unemployed 56-year-old Italian man impersonated his deceased mother, Graziella Dall’Oglio, to continue collecting her pension after her death three years ago. He concealed her mummified body in a sleeping bag in the laundry room while he meticulously mimicked her appearance, even renewing her identity card to maintain the ruse. Over the years, he pocketed about $61,000 annually from her pension, living off the funds and a property portfolio. His scheme was eventually uncovered when a government employee noticed his “masculine” features, leading to an investigation, and the discovery of his mother’s body, though authorities have not yet determined the cause of her death.
!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #3: FURTHER EVIDENCE THAT JFK-JR IS A PIG
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy sparked backlash after urging Americans to “dress with respect” during air travel, specifically discouraging slippers, pajamas, and removing shoes on planes. His comments, aimed at improving civility during the busy Thanksgiving travel period, were met with criticism after a photo surfaced of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. walking barefoot on a plane, despite Duffy’s call for better travel etiquette. Critics accused Duffy of hypocrisy, pointing out that RFK Jr.’s casual attire and barefoot behavior contradicted his own dress code advice. Some even questioned Duffy’s focus on air travel decorum, suggesting he should prioritize more pressing issues like air traffic controller shortages.
