Boner Candidate #1: POPPIN’ WHEELIES
A Utah Highway Patrol trooper was driving down the I-15 when he was alerted that a reckless motorcyclist was riding nearby. The trooper said he saw the motorcyclist and began to approach him from behind, and pulled up next to him, when the rider began to wave at the trooper, “appearing to be egging me on to try to stop him.” “After driving next to me and waving for a few seconds, the rider popped a wheelie on I-15 before speeding away at well over 100 mph,” the trooper said. The trooper turned on his lights and began to pursue the rider. He reached 105 miles per hour but said the rider pulled away at more than 160 mph, changing lanes several times without signaling. The trooper determined the rider was not going to stop, so he ended his pursuit. He returned to the UHP office, where another trooper showed him a social media post featuring the same rider who allegedly egged the trooper on, recording themselves recklessly speeding. The account had several videos posted in which the rider fled other police agencies. A man was able to be found and arrested due to the extensive evidence and multiple police interactions.
!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #2: I’M NOT MAD AT YOU, I’M MAD AT THE DIRT
A Florida man will avoid additional jail time after he pleaded guilty to locking a 10-year-old girl in the back room of a Subway after she walked across a freshly mopped floor. James Anthony Morris Jr. entered his guilty plea nearly a year after his arrest, when he was sentenced to three years of probation. Upon arrival at the scene of the crime, the victim’s mother told the responding officers that her daughter had been taken by Morris Jr., who worked as the sandwich shop’s manager. “The complainant told us they had just ordered their sandwiches when she noticed the suspect was mopping the floors,” the booking report alleges. “The victim accidentally stepped on that portion of the floor….That’s when suddenly the suspect grabbed the victim by the hand and quickly escorted the victim to the back of the store behind a locked door.” “The complainant said she fought with the suspect to open the door as she screamed for help…Eventually she was able to push the door open enough that the victim snuck out and ran to safety.” A witness with the victim and her mother assisted in freeing the victim and calling 911, later telling police that Morris Jr. was “acting weird” and he “believed the victim was in danger.”
Boner Candidate #3: A GIFT FOR THE POPE WHO HAS EVERYTHING
Marco Rubio, The Secretary of State, visited Pope Leo XIV at the Vatican, where he gifted the head of the Catholic Church a crystal football. Rubio’s visit was planned to help with the tension between his boss, President Donald Trump, and Leo as Trump has been calling him “weak” on crime and accusing the him of “endangering” Catholics with his opposition to the Iran war. In a news release following the meeting, State Department spokesperson, Tommy Pigott, said it “underscored the strong relationship between the United States and the Holy See.” In the now-viral video, Leo and Rubio exchange gifts, and this is where the state secretary offered the Pope a crystal football. “I know you’re a baseball guy, but I mean it has the seal of the State Department,” Rubio said. “What to get someone who has everything, I thought, ‘Oh, a crystal (football).’” On the other hand, Leo offered Rubio a pen made of olive wood, in what many have interpreted as a peace offering. “Olive, being of course the plant of peace,” Leo said as he pointed to the top of the olive wood pen. “This is the coat of arms of the pontificate here.” Following the meeting, the Vatican also released a statement, saying the talks were “cordial.”
