Boners

Boner Candidates for March 25 2016

Boner Candidate #1: IT WAS JUST GRANDPA GOVERNOR SEXY TALK

Gov. Robert Bentley of Alabama acknowledged Wednesday that he had made inappropriate and sexually charged remarks to one of his closest aides, but he denied an accusation that he and the woman had pursued a physical relationship. “At times in the past, have I said things that I should not have said? Absolutely, that’s what I’m saying today,” Mr. Bentley said at a State Capitol news conference, when he said he had apologized for “any conversations and behavior that was inappropriate.” He insisted that he had broken no laws during his friendship and professional partnership with his senior political adviser, Rebekah Caldwell Mason, who holds such power in Alabama that Spencer Collier, a former state law enforcement secretary, on Wednesday referred to her as the “de facto governor.” Mr. Bentley’s public demonstration of remorse came nearly seven months after Dianne Bentley, to whom the Republican governor was married for 50 years, sought a divorce, and just hours after Mr. Collier, the recently ousted leader of the Alabama Law Enforcement Agency, described what he saw as a history of improper conduct between the governor and Ms. Mason. Mr. Collier said that Mr. Bentley had, in 2014, effectively acknowledged an affair, and that it appeared to be continuing as recently as last month.

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Boner Candidate #2: HEY THANKS FOR THE RACIST RIDE.

Political discussions can certainly get heated, but what happened during a Lyft ride in Salt Lake City Wednesday was over the line, according to one passenger. Samuel Grenny said his driver, Dave, went on a bigoted rant and even threatened to hurt him. Grenny and his girlfriend were on their way to a Bernie Sanders event, but they said the driver wanted to talk about Donald Trump. “I explained where we were going and what it was for, and very quickly he seemed to tense up about it,” Grenny said. Grenny said the car ride quickly escalated out of control. “He started to say that Muslims categorically are terrorists,” Grenny said. “And then he proceeded to call Muslims pieces of crap, but a much unkinder word than that. At that point my girlfriend started videotaping, she was very shaken.”

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Boner Candidate #3: WE WANTED OUR CLASS REPORT TO BE REALISTIC AND WE DIDN’T HAVE ANY BLACK STUDENTS SO…

A Virginia private school suspended three students for using blackface for a class project, according to administrators. Students in a 12th grade government class at Isle of Wight Academy, used the offensive make-up in a video to illustrate the 1961 US Supreme Court case Mapp v. Ohio, which set boundaries for police searches. One female character in the video had blackface.

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