Boners

Boner Candidates March 31, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: I AM NOT A GOOD FLYER

A Japan-bound airplane returned to Hawaii because of a violent passenger who wanted to do yoga instead of sit in his seat, the FBI said. The pilot of the March 26 United Airlines flight from Honolulu International Airport to Narita International Airport turned the plane around after hearing that Hyongtae Pae was yelling at crew members and shoving his wife, the FBI said in a criminal complaint. Pae told the FBI he didn’t want to sit in his seat during the meal service, so he went to the back of the plane to do yoga and meditate. He became angry when his wife and flight attendants told him to return to his seat. “Pae pushed his wife because she was trying to make him stop,” the complaint said. “He felt that she was siding with the flight crew.” According to the complaint, he threatened to kill passengers and was yelling that there is no god. Pae went into a rage because he felt the flight crew was ordering him around, Ching said.

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Boner Candidate #2: I DINT KNOW SHE WAS ON THE CAR AT FIRST AND THEN I DINT CARE

Police say his wife was screaming and banging on the roof of his car, and still a Florida man drove more than six miles before being pulled over. Richard Addy of Palm City was arrested last week in Stuart, after a night of drinking with his wife, Treasure Coast News reports.“I’ve been doing this job for over 20 years,” said Police Cpl. Brian Bossio, “and I’venever seen anything like that before“ The 69-year-old man allegedly told the officer that he and his wife had gotten into a spat after drinking at a couple of bars and he decided to leave without her. It wasn’t until he was stopped at a traffic light that he said he heard her “banging” on top of his Toyota Sequoia, according to a police report. Instead of helping her down, Addy allegedly told police that he continued driving because he “did not have cell phone to call the police.” Of course, Addy had some better alternatives than to continue driving, and that’s why cops are so bewildered.

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Boner Candidate #3: OH BYU.

A female noticed a PVC pipe capped on both ends on the fourth floor of the Joseph F. Smith Building. She notified the University Police of it, concerned that it was a pipe bomb. Police responded and evacuated the fourth floor. A perimeter was set up and the pipe was observed at a safe distance. It was determined to have a common construction of a bomb. The writing on the side of the pipe included the phrase “100 hour board.” After looking this up, police discovered that the “100 hour board” is an online BYU forum where people can ask questions. Police got ahold of one of the people running the forum. The individual informed the police that the pipe was a container being used for a scavenger hunt and not a bomb. She apologized for any confusion.

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