ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I DON’T THINK HE HAS TO SAY ‘I’M A TRUMP MAN.’
A self described ‘Trump man’ in Ohio was arrested for serial pooping. The crappy act comprised of him defecating on the lawns of his democratic neighbors.
Boner Candidate #2: CRUELLA D’TRUMP
Lara trump has earned herself the nickname ‘Cruella Trump’ for being the face of a dog rescue charity that funneled money into the pockets of the Trump family.
Boner Candidate #3: ANYTHING TASTES GOOD WHEN IT’S DEEP FRIED.
A woman in the Philippines was baffled to discover a deep fried towel in her order. She shared the incident on social media, including a deep fried unboxing style video.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: IT’S RIGHT THERE… SEE IT… I’M TELLING YOU IT’S RIGHT THERE
Salvatore Garau, an Italian artist, recently sold a piece for $18,000 at an auction. The piece in question is an ‘invisible statue’ meant to represent and reflect how we shape a god we’ve never seen. It must be kept carefully in a 5×5 foot area, in a private room without obstructions.
Boner Candidate #2: HATEFUL CRIME IN KAYSVILLE
Pride week is a wonderful time, for mostly everyone. A man in Kaysville is being charged for tearing down someone else’s pride flag and burning it along side a hateful note with language as colorful as the flag.
Boner Candidate #3: DUMMER THAN A LOCAMOTIVE.
A man impersonating Super Man in Brazil is attempting to re-create his iconic ability to stop a train with nothing but his hands. The man is a comedian, in a controlled environment but the train didn’t stop as planned. He’s surprisingly unscathed, as if he was a man of steel.
