Boner Candidate #1: AH FAMILY VALUES 2016
A sex worker who claims she had a long-standing relationship with married, family values Republican senator and candidate for Louisiana governor David Vitter dropped a bombshell accusation one week before voters go to the polls. Wendy Ellis claims she had an affair with Vitter, he impregnated her and then asked her to abort the baby. Ellis says she did not, instead putting the child up for legal adoption, according to WDSU. In a video interview by Jason Berry, who posted it to his American Zombie blog, Ellis said she maintained a relationship with Vitter for three years after meeting him when he was a state representative in the 1990s. She said the two of them stopped seeing each other when she was six months pregnant, and she knows he was the father because she wasn’t sleeping with anyone else at the time.
Boner Candidate #2: PRINCIPAL CONNELY IS NUTS
A Bronx principal ordered her teachers to give up their desks last week, and had the furniture dumped at the curb — telling staff she doesn’t want them sitting in class. Donna Connelly, principal of PS 24, the Spuyten Duyvil School in Riverdale, also told teachers to empty their filing cabinets, which she then discarded. With class in session, teachers were told to push their desks and cabinets into the hallway. Custodians then hauled them outside and piled them like trash on the blacktop of a school across the street. “It’s the 21st century — you don’t need desks,” Connelly said, sources told The Post. The diktat demoralized staff at the K-5 school, where diverse students perform well above the city average on state exams. Connelly told teachers she “does not want them sitting,” an insider said, although though no chairs were tossed.“Figure it out,” she snapped when staffers asked where to store their supplies, a source said.
Bone Candidate #3: MAKE ME YOUR PRESIDENT AND I’LL BRING BACK SLAVERY
The United States criminal justice system could be improved if we sell poor people convicted of crimes into slavery, according to Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee. The former Arkansas governor weighed in on our nation’s current criminal justice system during an appearance yesterday on Mickelson in the Morning, a leading Iowa radio program.Host Jan Mickelson began by bemoaning that the “criminal justice system has been taken over by progressives.” In order to fight back, he argued, conservatives should look to the biblical Book of Exodus. “It says, if a person steals, they have to pay it back two-fold, four-fold,” Mickelson explained. “If they don’t have anything, we’re supposed to take them down and sell them.” Mickelson went on to argue why jails, which he claimed are a “pagan invention,” are inferior to slavery: “We indenture them and they have to spend their time not sitting on their stump in a jail cell, they’re supposed to be working off the debt.”
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