Boner of the Day

Boner Preview Candidates January 15th, 2016

Boner Preview Candidate #1: A LOVING SON

For a few thrilling hours on Wednesday, a nurse in California believed that she was a millionaire. The woman — who works at the Park Avenue Health & Wellness Center, a nursing home in Pomona, and is a mother to seven children — had reportedly received a phone call from her son telling her she was one of the winners of the $1.6 billion Powerball jackpot.

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Boner Preview Candidate #2: TOM IS MY SUPPORT ANIMAL

If you think that air travel has gone to the birds, it has — literally. We’re talkin’ turkey, as in that big Thanksgiving bird, one of which recently was spotted aboard a Delta flight acting as a “support animal,” and that’s causing a flap over how passengers are using, and abusing, comfort animal rules.

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Boner Preview Candidate #3: WE’RE BEING BILLED FOR SOMETHING WE CAN’T USE

Last week Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder (R) declared a state of emergency over the level of lead being found in Flint’s tap water, and this week he activated the state National Guard to help provide residents with bottled water, filters, and lead testing kits. But even in the midst of this crisis, city residents aren’t just being charged for their poisoned tap water — they’re being threatened with shutoffs if they don’t quickly pay their bills.

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Boner Preview Candidate #4: I ADMIT MY TREATMENTS MAY BE A BIT UNORTHODOX

A doctor has been barred from seeing patients while police investigate a woman’s accusation that he ejaculated in her face, according to reports.

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Boner Preview Candidate #5: THE HENRY THE HOOVER TATTOO

Tattoos seem like a good idea when you’re young, especially if you’re being egged on by a friend. But for one man who decided to get a joke tattoo on his crotch, the joke is on him.

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Boner Preview Candidate #6: THERE’S SOMETHING EXTRA IN MY WAFFLES

Waffle House fires two workers caught styling hair in the kitchen after customer had to ‘pull strands out of his mouth’

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