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Boner Candidates for August 20, 2015

Boner Candidate #1:YET ANOTHER WRONG PATH FOR MR. DUGGAR

In 2013, conservative reality TV star Josh Duggar—of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting fame—was named the executive director of the Family Research Council, a conservative lobbying group in D.C. which seeks “to champion marriage and family as the foundation of civilization, the seedbed of virtue, and the wellspring of society.” During that time, he also maintained a paid account on Ashley Madison, a web site created for the express purpose of cheating on your spouse.

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Boner Candidate #2:JUST GET OVER IT

Michael Patterson, convicted of killing his girlfriend and dumping her body in Spanish Fork Canyon before shooting her roommate, says the victims’ families should just “get over it.” On Tuesday, Patterson’s first parole hearing since being sentenced to prison in 1998 was marked by outbursts and bizarre behavior. Patterson spoke in a slow, sometimes slurred voice that made him hard to understand at times. He also seemed to grow increasingly anxious as the hearing went on and blurted out bizarre comments when it wasn’t his turn to talk, prompting parole board Vice Chairman Robert Yeates, who conducted the hearing, to threaten to throw him out. “What do you want to do? What’s the deal?” Patterson asked Yeates, attempting to provoke him into making a final decision on his parole status right then.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE EVIL BOY WANTED IT

In an extraordinary admission of wrongdoing, a priest sought by authorities in New Jersey has acknowledged engaging in a sexual encounter with a 15-year-old boy, but he deflected blame for the incident by saying the teen “wanted” it and had “evil in his mind.” In a telephone interview with NJ Advance Media, in email exchanges and in a lengthy post on Twitter, the Rev. Manuel Gallo Espinoza said it was a “mistake” to have sexual contact with the boy in the rectory of a Plainfield church in 2003. He said he fled to his native Ecuador after the victim told a nun and another priest that Gallo Espinoza raped him. “One thing that I am conscious (of) is he was at that time a teenager, and it is a big mistake for me. But I didn’t force him to do anything he didn’t want,” Gallo Espinoza wrote. “He was older [sic] enough to walk away, but I think that I was attracted to him, that is the only explanation that I can think right now.”

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