Boners

Boner of the Day for December 19th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1:  YES. THAT’S MY CRACK PIPE

A Fox Business reporter was busted last week trying to sneak a glass crack pipe into the federal courthouse in downtown Manhattan, sources and law enforcement told The Post. Lawrence Crook III was on his way into the Daniel Patrick Moynihan Courthouse at 500 Pearl St. to cover the Sprint/T-Mobile merger trial on Dec. 9 when an eagle-eyed court security officer noticed a strange bulge in his sock, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the incident. Crook immediately fessed up when confronted with the contraband, and began whining about how he’d recently lost his job at CNN and was in “big trouble,” sources said. A spokesman with Federal Protective Services offered a different version of events, claiming the glass pipe fell out of Crook’s pocket. The 36-year-old was escorted from the premises without incident, and issued a violation for possessing drug paraphernalia on federal property, the spokesman said. In a series of emails, Crook claimed the violation was some sort of frame-up, saying he’d received a “death threat and a promise articles would come out.” It was not clear if he remained employed by Fox Business Network, which did not return a message. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: RADIO SCUM

School honors hero student who stopped Colorado gunmanStudents walked out of a vigil after they said it became political. ABC News’ Kenneth Moton reports. Rick Wilking/Reuters a Denver talk radio host has been fired after he said he wanted “a nice school shooting” to interrupt coverage of “the never-ending impeachment of Donald Trump.” The firing came just hours after a father who lost his son in a school shooting in Colorado earlier this year said the host should be fired. Chuck Bonniwell, cohost of a talk show on KNUS 710 AM, made the comments Tuesday afternoon coming back from a commercial break before being immediately interrupted by his cohost and wife Julie Hayden. “No, no, don’t even say that!” Hayden said. “Don’t call us! Chuck didn’t say that.” Bonniwell immediately seemed to backtrack, saying he was talking about shootings in “which no one would be hurt.” KNUS announced Wednesday night that Bonniwell and his wife had been fired. “Given the history of school violence that has plagued our community, 710 KNUS confirms that an inappropriate comment was made on the Chuck & Julie show by co-host Chuck Bonniwell,” the statement said. “A programming decision was made to end the program immediately.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THE SOUTHERLAND POP TART ATTACK

Pinellas County, FL — A Florida man has been arrested and charged with domestic battery after allegedly angrily throwing a Pop Tart toaster pastry at his wife’s head. Police took Brandon Sutherland, 36, into custody on Sunday night after the alleged incident, according to Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office documents obtained by The Smoking Gun. The incident reportedly happened at the couple’s St. Petersburg residence after a heated argument broke out. Sutherland is said to have thrown the Pop Tart when he became “upset,” although the pastry failed to actually hit the woman. However, he did allegedly manage to strike the woman’s upper arm with his hand as he threw the Pop Tart. An officer described the alleged incident in a police report filed the following day. “The victim stated that she and the defendant were involved in a verbal argument,” wrote the officer. “She stated the defendet [sic] became upset and intentionally threw a pop-tart at her head.” Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: WE BOTH LOVE THE SHOW SO MUCH

A Janesville man was charged with fourth-offense intoxicated driving after sheriff’s deputies were called to Rotamer Road near Henke Road early Monday morning for a report of men trying to flag down passing cars. At 12:45 a.m. Monday, deputies encountered a parked SUV and two men who admitted getting into a fistfight over the TV show “How I Met Your Mother,” according to the criminal complaint. Alan A. Huschka, 33, of 343 S. Fremont St., was charged with the felony offense and two counts of bail jumping for violating the terms of bonds in Rock and Walworth counties that required him not to drink. The men said they had gone to the Packers game in Green Bay on Sunday, where they drank, and then drove to a downtown Janesville bar before driving to Rotamer Road. It was not clear why the men were arguing over the TV show, which ended in 2014, other than that Huschka said they both loved it, according to the complaint. Huschka’s previous intoxicated-driving convictions were in 2003, 2004 and 2008. At his hearing Monday, he was ordered not to drink or drive while his case is pending. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: RADIO SCUM

Radio host Bob Lonsberry is being criticized after comparing the word “boomer” to the N-word. The phrase “OK, boomer” has been used on the video sharing app TikTok by Generation Z and millennials to show their resentment toward baby boomers. In a since-deleted tweet, Lonsberry, 60, said “‘Boomer’ is the n-word of ageism,” according to the Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, which is part of the USA TODAY Network. “Being hip and flip does not make bigotry ok, nor is a derisive epithet acceptable because it is new,” he continued. The Monday tweet garnered attention in the form of thousands of replies. “Just because something is insulting, it doesn’t make it the N-word sporto. Nobody died connected to it. Nobody was enslaved or segregated in conjunction with it. Just stop,” “The Mo’Kelly Show” host replied. “You want the pain of the word, just none of the lynchings, disenfranchisement and hatred. Hush.” “Jeopardy!” winner Ken Jennings also responded to the tweet: “Don’t worry, I’m Mormon like this guy so it’s okay: I can call him a boomer with the hard ‘r’.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: HEY MAN, YOUY GOT SHRIMP IN YOUR PANTS

RIVERSIDE, Calif. — A thief stuffed a total of 30 bags of frozen shrimp down his pants in back-to-back burglaries of a Southern California grocery store, police said Wednesday. The man took the shrimp from a Vons market in the city of Riverside by entering the store three times in a span of 15 minutes on Dec. 14. Each time he went to the frozen food section and concealed the shrimp in his pants, Riverside police said in a statement. The stolen food had a retail value of more than $500. Security video of the suspect in the market was posted on the Police Department’s Facebook page. Read More

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