ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: HEY. HE WON THE SUPERBOWL. HE DOESN’T HAVE TO GIVE A CARE.
NFL player Matthew Stafford was seen walking away after a photographer fractured her spine during an accident.
Boner Candidate #2: ARE YOU SURE YOU GAVE US YOUR REAL NAME?
A man attempted to give the police a fake name, but he forgot that his actual name was tattooed on his neck.
Boner Candidate #3: THE IDAHO LEGISLATURE ADDRESS THE PRESSING ISSUES OF THE DAY.
Idaho lawmakers have stepped up during these difficult times to propose a bill that would classify things like trees, animals and artificial intelligence as ‘not human.’
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THESE PEOPLE ARE MAKING IT TOUGH FOR THE REAL IMPORTANT WORK.
Utah’s own human rights advocate Coco Berthmann was recently arrested due to an investigation regarding communications fraud after a tip suggested that she was lying about her cancer diagnosis.
Boner Candidate #2: THEY HAVE THEIR CAULDRONS AND THEIR BROOMSTICK HIDDEN RIGHT NOW.
A video of pastor Greg Locke showed him threatening to expose members of his church as ‘witches.’
Boner Candidate #3: WHAT THE……..?
Investigations have begun after mechanical grease was discovered to have been place all over the rocks at popular bouldering spots in Moab.
