Boners

Boner of the Day for February 4th, 2021

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: LIL’ UZI GOT A DIAMOND

Lil Uzi Vert’s love of jewelry has never been a secret. A personal favorite was the upside-down crucifix the rapper debuted a few years ago at the Grammys, but the rapper has made a new purchase that’s easily his most ostentatious yet: a pink diamond embedded in his forehead, which the rapper claims is worth $24 million.

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Boner Candidate #2: HOW ABOUT THE COTTON PICKERS

SALT LAKE CITY — After hours of public comment and testimony, the Utah State Legislature’s House Education Committee voted to support a bill that would remove the name “Dixie” from “Dixie State University.” “This decision to change the name is in the best interests our students, the state of Utah and Dixie State University,” said Rep. Kelly Miles, R-Ogden, who sponsored House Bill 278. The bill passed out of committee on a 12-2 vote late Wednesday.

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Boner Candidate #3: AN APOLOGY FOR THE INVENTOR OF THE PILLOW

Bob Sellers, an anchor with conservative American news outlet Newsmax, walked out during a show on Tuesday while interviewing a pro-Trump conspiracy theorist, the chief executive of MyPillow  Newsmax anchor Bob Sellers issued an apology after storming out of a live interview with MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell, as the pro-Trump guest refused to stop pushing conspiracy theories about voter fraud on his show.

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: I AM AN EDUCATOR

For Stacey Griffith, a New York City-based SoulCycle instructor whose highly sought-after spin classes are often studded with celebrities, securing a vaccine dose was simple enough: She filled out some paperwork, and on Friday made the hour drive from Manhattan to a coronavirus vaccination site on Staten Island. But after posting on Instagram about her vaccination — and telling a reporter from The Daily Beast that her role as a fitness instructor made her eligible for the vaccine as an educator — Ms. Griffith quickly became the subject of a ferocious backlash.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY WERE GOOD ACTORS AND THEY WORKED CHEAP

A Florida lawyer has been disbarred for having sex with inmates in jail and recording the encounters for a pornographic film, according to the state Supreme Court. Andrew Spark, 58, would solicit sex from incarcerated women and offer to put money in their commissary accounts if they let him use the footage for a porn video he called “Girls in Jail,” authorities said.

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Boner Candidate #3: THAT’S LOTS OF DRIVING CONGRESSWOMAN

Republican representative Lauren Boebert has drawn reimbursements worth $22,000 for gas mileage used during her campaign for Congress in 2020, raising questions from ethics experts. The Colorado GOP lawmaker wrote two cheques for a total of $22,259 from her campaign accounts for mileage between January and mid-November. The latest one is $21,199, after receiving reimbursement in March 2020, according to reports by The Denver Post and the local blog Colorado Pols.

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