ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: IT’S JUST A NAKED MOUSE. BUT IT’S A NAKED LADY MOUSE.
A school board in Tennessee voted to ban “Maus,” a graphic novel which depicts The Holocaust using mice. The book was banned because the words “God damn” were used, and there were naked photos. The naked photos were of mice, which don’t traditionally wear clothing anyways.
Boner Candidate #2: YEAH SMITH… THAT’S A REAL KNEE SLAPPER
Stephen A. Smith weaponized Wordle to make fun of the Dallas Cowboys by posting a picture of them, and Wordle, with the word “choke.”
Boner Candidate #3: YOU SAY THAT AND THEN YOU VOTE AGAINST FAMILY PLANNING AND ABORTION.
Sen. Ron Johnson responded to questions about reducing child care costs by saying: “People decide to have families.”
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: THESE DOLLS ARE PRE-OWNED AND PRE-LOVED.
A new website lets it’s users connect with each other to swap and trade their sex dolls.
Boner Candidate #2: I GOT ME AN ATTACK SQUIRREL. HE’S HOPPED UP ON METH.
A man was arrested for possession of meth, which he used to feed his “attack squirrel.”
Boner Candidate #3: QUITE HONESTLY, I FEEL DISGUSTED.
A woman in Midvale shared her experience visiting her brother-in-law at a super sketchy assisted living facility. There was reportedly raw sewage present, no heat and barely any lights. The facility was raided by law enforcement due to an investigation of the facility’s living conditions.
via Fox News
