ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: GENITAL CONTAMINATION
A cop in Brooklyn, New York received his food from Door Dash along side a note implying that the deliveryman had contaminated the food using none other then their ‘male heritage.’
Boner Candidate #2: WE DON’T WANT YOU KIND IN HOOPER
A Utah family in Weber County recently got a racist, hate filled note. The letter began with the sentence: “It is too bad your kind has moved into our neighborhood and brought into the dirty, sloppy people you are.” The rest of the note isn’t much better.
Boner Candidate #3: WOKE COKE
Plenty of companies are capitalizing off of ethical sourcing. Now even drug dealers are doing it, using their ‘ethically sourced’ cocaine to target upper-middle class addicts.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: SAMANTHA FUTCH, I LOVE YOU
A man wanting to marry his girlfriend, stole the $4,500 ring he bought her as a gift, to pawn it off for enough money to buy her an engagement ring.
Boner Candidate #2: TED CRUZ KNOWS WHY THERE IS COVID IN TEXAS
Ted Cruz finally cracked the code. He figured why covid rates are rising in Texas. He claims that of all things, undocumented immigrants are to blame as opposed to the many mistakes made by him, and Texas.
Boner Candidate #3: A BAR IN WYOMING HAS DISCOVERED A CURE FOR AIDS.
A woman in Wyoming is spreading her cure for AIDS using a T-shirt which says: “In Wyoming we have a cure for AIDS. We shoot f—in’ f——.” The shirt features none other then homo-phobic slurs, and other colorful words promoting violence, and murder of a struggling minority.
