Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for June 11th, 2019

Round 1

Candidate #1: HOW THAT COCAINE GOT IN MY NOSE IS BEYOND ME.

A Florida man had cocaine on his nose during a traffic stop in Hillsborough County, deputies said.  Deputies pulled over a car Monday and a passenger, Fabricio Jimenez, 20, had a white powdery substance on his nose, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said. Jiminez’s nose was swabbed and the test came back positive for cocaine, according to deputies. Deputies also located a backpack that they said contained 250 grams of marijuana and 13 Xanax pills. A search of Jimenez produced a small baggie of powder cocaine, the sheriff’s office Facebook post said. While being arrested, Jimenez told deputies the cocaine on his nose was not his.

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Candidate #2: SALAD FROSTING

Kraft is making tricking kids into eating their vegetables easier than ever. The brand recently unveiled its new limited-edition Salad “Frosting,” which is just Kraft Classic Ranch Dressing disguised in a frosting tube. If it feels like Kraft is simply handing parents of picky eaters a pre-packaged white lie, it’s because they are. And they’re embracing the concept. “Innocent lies parents tell their kids help alleviate the pressures of everyday parenting, and if it gets kids to eat their greens, so be it,” Sergio Eleuterio Head of Marketing for Kraft, said in a news release. “Simple, innocent lies are not only part of parenthood, but a true tactic used by parents everywhere. Kraft Salad ‘Frosting’ is one lie you won’t feel bad telling your kids.”

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Candidate #3: GOOD WORK MADE DIFFICULT BY WANTON STUPIDITY

A local nonprofit that aims to eliminate food waste and feed under-served community groups is concerned for their upcoming harvest after one of their delivery vans was stolen and totaled. For the folks at the Green Urban Lunch Box, food is more than fuel – it’s a passion.
“We’re a food justice organization that’s committed to organically grown produce and distributing it to those in need,” said Food Share Program Coordinator Darin Mann.
The South Salt Lake-based nonprofit grows produce in community gardens and harvests fruits from overgrown community trees from Provo to Ogden – delivering nearly 100,000 pounds of food to free cancer patient markets, free senior citizen markets and local food pantries. “Fruit that would otherwise go to waste on somebody’s lawn is now being utilized by the local community and given back,” Mann said. But this harvest season, the group could be unable to provide as planned after someone stole, totaled and ditched one of their only two delivery vehicles.

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Round 2

Candidate #1: YOU DON’T EXPECT YOUR BUS DRIVER TO BE DRUNK

Park City Transit bus driver Jason Parker has been charged with DUI after a bus accident on Saturday, June 8, 2019. Photos: Summit County  SUMMIT COUNTY, Utah, June 10, 2019 (Gephardt Daily) — The driver of a Park City Transit bus that veered off the road Saturday morning and ended up in a ditch has been booked into jail on suspicion of DUI. A probable cause statement from the Summit County Justice Court said Jason Benjamin Parker, 43, is facing charges of DUI of alcohol with BAC at or over .05, a class B misdemeanor, and failure to operate within a single lane, an infraction. The statement said the crash happened Saturday just after 8 a.m. at Homestead Road in between Rasmussen Road and I-80, southeast of Jeremy Ranch. “Upon my arrival, Jason Parker was outside of the bus on the roadway,” the arresting officer wrote. “Parker advised he fell asleep while driving, and that’s how the bus ended up in the ditch.”

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Candidate #2: I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CAN.

A Pakistan International Airlines was delayed for more than six hours after the passenger made the error. (Anjum Naveed/ASSOCIATED PRESS) This bathroom break turned into an emergency. A passenger waiting for the plane to take off from Manchester, United Kingdom, caused major delays after mistaking an emergency exit for a bathroom door, the airline said.
Though the seatbelt sign had been on, the woman decided she needed to use the restroom and opened the door at the rear of the Boeing aircraft, assuming it was for the toilet, according to the Pakistan International Airlines (PIA). However, to her surprise, the emergency slide then deployed. The PIA flight PK 702 was subsequently delayed for more than six hours Friday night. Because the door could no longer be used, 21 passengers were forced to move seats and 37 passengers were unable to stay on the flight.

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Candidate #3: WOW. THE BEEBS IS TOUGH.

Justin Bieber is ready to throw some punches. The “What Do You Mean?” singer had his fans asking just that after he challenged Tom Cruise to a UFC fight in a tweet Sunday. “I wanna challenge Tom Cruise to fight in the octagon,” Bieber, 25, wrote. “Tom if you dont take this fight your [sic] scared and you will never live it down. Who is willing to put on the fight? @danawhite ?” The UFC Octagon is the organization’s famed arena that features a plastic-coated fence surrounding all eight sides, while Dana White is the UFC president. It’s unclear just what beef (if any) Bieber has with the Top Gun actor, 56, but Cruise is known for his athletic prowess, often completing his own death-defying stunts on his film sets. Bieber’s tweet quickly went viral, prompting UFC champion Conor McGregor to chime in with an offer to host the fight. “If Tom Cruise is man enough to accept this challenge, McGregor Sports and Entertainment will host the bout,” he wrote on Twitter. “Does Cruise have the sprouts to fight, like he does in the movies? Stay tuned to find out!”

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