Boners

Boner of the Day for March 12th, 2020

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: GIMME A KISS. C’MON, GIMME A KISS.

State Police out of Punxy responded to a call about a man trying to get into a home in Young Township before leaving the area only to be tracked down by Police at his home. Troopers report that Michael Alan Shaffer, 41, of Punxsutawney, showed up at a woman’s home on March 2 and attempted to enter the residence. He told the woman that he was there to see a young boy. This prompted the woman to lock the door and call her husband who was next door. Police say that the husband was able to give them the license plate numbers from the Shaffer’s red SUV. Police were able to identify Shaffer by the plate number and found the red SUV outside f his residence. Upon arrival, troopers report that they spotted his red SUV and that his father greeted them. The father said that Shaffer was sick in his room and took police to him. He was reportedly observed with dilated pupils, speaking irrationally, having involuntary body movements and smelled like alcohol.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: I GOT YOUR SANITIZER RIGHT HERE

A convenience store owner in New Jersey reacting to the coronavirus outbreak created and sold a spray sanitizer that left four children with burns, state and county law enforcement officials said. Authorities on Tuesday issued a summons charging Manisha Bharade, 47, of Wood-Ridge with endangering the welfare of children and deceptive business practices. State consumer officials also opened an investigation into the sale and promotion of health and sanitation products at her 7-Eleven store in River Vale, reports the AP. Bharade mixed commercially available foaming sanitizer, which wasn’t meant for resale, with water and packaged the bottles in her store, authorities said.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: CORONAVIRUS AND THE CONDOM SHORTAGE

To some this may be a little extreme but people in Australia and Singapore are buying up all the condoms to fight the Coronavirus. There was a report on the Internet that advised people to use condoms on their fingers in order to protect themselves from the virus while pushing buttons on elevators. Since the article surfaced store shelves have been swept and condoms have been in short supply. Other supplies such as toilet paper, soap and sanitizer have also been in short supply or have completely vanished from store shelves. Some stores have begun limiting the amount of products you can buy and some consumers have been selling sanitizer on Ebay for $40.   Read More

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: SIR, YOU HAVE A PANTY ON YOUR FACE

With face masks that supposedly protect from coronavirus in short supply around the globe, some men in Japan are trying out another idea: Wearing women’s underwear over their faces instead. Twitch streamer Cjaysan discovered that when, while visiting Japan, a couple of men walked up to him with newly purchased underwear covering their noses and mouths. Cjay was speaking with a man who was smoking a cigarette on a bike about how they like to dance when a dude wearing yellow fabric on his face approached him as he streamed. “What is that?” Cjay asked, referring to the makeshift mask. “Panty,” the man replied. “This is panties.” “Where did you get that?” Cjay, who has about 63,000 Twitch followers, said. “Is that from your girlfriend?” “No. No girlfriend,” the man said. “Is that your mask?” The man and a friend who had purple underwear on his face confirmed that was the case and that they were wearing it to stop coronavirus from infecting them.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #2: “HE’S GOT ME BY THE DICK”

“He’s got my dick! Spray him, spray him! He’s got my dick,” yelled Officer Steven Prudhom. The Wisconsin cop was trying get an unruly suspect into the back of a Kenosha Police Department squad car around 2:30 AM Saturday when the man “grabbed Officer Prudhom’s pants, in the crotch area, with his hands, which were still handcuffed,” according to a criminal complaint. In a flash, Prudhom felt defendant Jerry Watkins’s hand “crushing down on his penis.” Watkins, 30, then allegedly “tightened his grip which caused a very sharp and very intense pain.” Watkins, cuffed behind his back, ignored the cop’s demands to release his penis, and was unmoved by Prudhom’s “arm strikes to the defendant’s face in an effort to get him to let go.” It was then that Prudhom yelled for fellow officers to pepper spray Watkins, who police first encountered following a disturbance at a bar. Upon being sprayed, Watkins finally let go of Prudhom’s penis.   Read More

BONER CANDIDATE #3: WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

A white female giraffe and her 7-month-old calf, whose rare pigmentation mesmerized wildlife enthusiasts around the world, have been killed by poachers in Kenya, officials said, illustrating the challenges of conservation and the persistent and devastating impact of poaching. The deaths of the giraffes left just one of the unusually colored animals in the country’s wild, a bull, out of a family of three, conservancy officials said. Mohammed Ahmednoor, the manager of the Ishaqbini Hirola Community Conservancy in northeastern Kenya, where the giraffes lived, said that rangers had confirmed their deaths and that there were photographs of the skeletal remains. “This is a very sad day for the community of Ijara and Kenya as a whole,” Mr. Ahmednoor said. “We are the only community in the world who are custodians of the white giraffe.” “Its killing is a blow to the tremendous steps taken by the community to conserve rare and unique species, and a wake-up call for continued support to conservation efforts,” he added.   Read More


Subscribe to X96's News!

Get the latest music news, contests and flyaways, and more straight to your inbox with our weekly emails.

* indicates required
Comments
To Top