Round One
Boner Candidate #1: YOU ARE MISSIN’ THE POINT CHIP
the Senate Judiciary Committee of Texas had a hearing to discuss the rise in hate crimes against Asian Americans. Rep. Chip Roy spoke at the hearing, acknowledging the tragedy of last Tuesday’s shooting before changing pace and saying: “There’s an old saying in Texas about ‘find all the rope in Texas and get a tall oak tree,'” he followed up with the words: “You know, we take justice very seriously.”
Boner Candidate #2: WHAT THE HELL DID THE GEM STATE EXPECT?
Idaho’s legislature was shut down on Friday due to an outbreak of Covid-19. Of the 70 members, 6 tested positive and 5 of those people were Republicans.
Boner Candidate #3: SAY YOU ARE SORRY IN THE AFRICAN WAY
An 11 year old black student attending St. Martin de Porres Marianist school was told by his white headmaster to apologize “the African way” by keeling on the ground.
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: LET’S GET A GOOD LOOK AT THE ELEPHANT
A man tried to get his two year old daughter a better view of an elephant at the zoo by going past the fence. An elephant charged the man, who dropped his daughter before he jumped back over the fence. He grabbed her to bring her over the fence, luckily the elephant stopped just in time.
Boner Candidate #2: I KNOW WE SAID WE WOULDN’T HOLD IT AGAINST YOU, BUT WE WERE KIDDING.
The Biden administration relaxed long standing policies that prevented anyone from working in the White House if they had used marijuana. The goal was to make the White House more inclusive to people who lived in states where the drug was legalized. Despite this, dozens of White House staff members were pressured into resigning, or finding different positions based on their use of marijuana.
Boner Candidate #3: YOUR WIFE? OH YEAH, SHE’S, WELL YOU KNOW.
During the horrific attack on Asian Americans, Mario González feared for the safety of his wife who was in another room. He was stopped by police before he could check on her. The police handcuffed him for roughly four hours. While being detained, Mario was informed by the police that his wife had been killed.