ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: SURELY THERE WAS ANOTHER WAY TO HANDLE THIS.
Kids attending school in California were forced to eat there lunch outside while it was raining. The situation has been weaponized by anti-maskers.
Boner Candidate #2: MOST UTAH VOTERS DO NOT AGREE WITH YOU.
After irrational concerns of election fraud across the nation, some Utah senators feel left out and want to audit the 2020 election despite the state voting for Donald Trump originally.
Boner Candidate #3: AND MORE FUN AT THE WAFFLE HOUSE
A man in Florida who was both high, and drunk stole napkins from a Waffle House using his weapon of choice. Finger guns.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: SURELY YOU COULD HAVE SERVED THE PAPERS AT ANOTHER TIME.
While attending his grandmother’s funereal, Dr. Dre was given divorce papers from his soon to be ex-wife.
Boner Candidate #2: I’VE GOT A CHOCOLATE PIE HERE AND I’M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT
A man was evading the police while holding a chocolate cream pie with him.
Boner Candidate #3: I SLEEP JUST FINE THANK YOU
Member of the “Disinformation Dozen,” Dr. Rashid Buttar has falsely spread tons of misinformation online, dissuading people from getting vaccinated. When confronted he said: “If I’m wrong so be it, because I have to look at myself in the mirror every night when I go to bed and every morning when I get up, and I don’t lose any sleep.”
