Boner of the Day

Boner of the Day for October 28th, 2019

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: SMALL TOWN, BIG CORRUPTION

Bal Harbour, FL – The village of Bal Harbour, population 2,513, may have a tiny footprint on the northern tip of Miami Beach, but its police department had grand aspirations of going after international drug traffickers, and making a few million dollars while they were at it. The Bal Harbour PD and the Glades County Sheriff’s Office set up a giant money laundering scheme with the purported goal of busting drug cartels and stemming the surge of drug dealing going on in the area. But it all fell apart when federal investigators and the Miami-Herald found strange things going on. The two-year operation, which took in more than $55 million from criminal groups, resulted in zero arrests but netted $2.4 million for the police posing as money launderers. Members of the 12-person task force traveled far and wide to carry out their deals, from Los Angeles to New York to Puerto Rico. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: THE MUSIC CAREER ISN’T GOING THAT WELL

According to the Oregon State Police, WALLS OF JERICHO drummer Dustin Schoenhofer was arrested last week in Oregon with more than 600 pounds of marijuana and nearly 40 pounds of suspected butane honey oil extract in his pickup. On October 23, at about 3:00 p.m., an Oregon State Police trooper stopped a 2015 Chevy pickup on Hwy 140E near milepost 15 for a traffic violation. During the traffic stop, the trooper obtained probable cause to search the vehicle. During the search, the trooper located 632.5 lbs of marijuana and 36.8 lbs of suspected BHO (Butane Honey Oil) extract. The driver was identified as Schoenhofer, age 41, from Ohio. Through the investigation, investigators learned the marijuana and BHO extract was destined for Ohio. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: IT’S NOT A PLAYGROUND FOR PEEPING TOMS

PHOENIX (AP) — A lawsuit filed against Southwest Airlines by a flight attendant alleges pilots on a 2017 flight had an iPad streaming video from a hidden camera in a bathroom in one of the airline’s jets. The lawsuit alleges flight attendant Renee Steinaker saw an iPad streaming video from the plane’s forward bathroom when she entered the cockpit to be the required second person in the cockpit when the pilot left to use the bathroom about 2.5 hours into a Feb. 27, 2017, flight to Phoenix from Pittsburgh. According to the suit, Steinaker saw the pilot in the streaming video on the iPad and the co-pilot “with a panicked look on his face” acknowledged that the iPad was streaming from a camera in the bathroom but asserted it was a “new security and top-secret security measure installed in all of Southwest’s Boeing 737-800 planes.”
The suit said Steinaker took a cellphone photo of the iPad video, provided the photo with a report to Southwest management and was warned by a supervisor to not tell anybody about the incident. Read More

 

ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: THAT IS A TRUE SYMBOL OF LOVE

When it comes to engagement rings, we know that not everyone will be able to afford a real diamond – and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Instead of splashing the cash, some couples decide to buy cheaper ones or craft unique rings themselves out of sentimental items for a low-budget alternative. And while a lot of people have no qualms about being proposed to with a homemade trinket, it seems there’s one thing many people would really hate to receive. Let it be known that the people of social media, and surely all sane people out there, draw the line at an engagement ring made from a man’s fingernail clippings. Yes, it seems one man really spent an entire year collecting his nail clippings to turn into a “diamond” ring. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: WE’VE KNOWN EACH OTHER LONG ENOUGH FOR MID-AIR SEX

A couple were detained after being filmed having sex by shocked passengers. The man, 41, and woman, 43, had reportedly only met at a Moscow airport before boarding the plane bound for Vladivostok, eastern Russia. According to reports, the police have accused them of being drunk and performing oral sex in economy class. The pair face up to 15 days “administrative arrest” and a fine, according to the Russian Interior Ministry. A female flight attendant angrily confronted the pair while filmed ordering them to stop. “Come on, now, calm down and settle down quickly,” she said. “The plane will land and you will get out of here. Get your penis in your pants. Right now.”
“Get your hand off his penis. Right now.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: THIS RED HAT THINKS SHE’S ABOVE THE LAW

Jennifer Harrison, founder of the right-wing group AZ Patriots, was arrested in Arizona this week on suspicion of identity theft. Harrison became a viral sensation back in August after a video surfaced of her wearing a MAGA hat at a Tucson City Council meeting while protesting an immigration proposal that would prohibit police from inquiring about a person’s immigration status. Harrison’s viral moment came when video captured her yelling, “Respect our laws!” among other things, during the meeting. But the video’s success was mostly due to a man in a green shirt who could not stop laughing at her antics and the reaction she elicited in the room. The hashtag #greenshirtguy was born and quickly climbed Twitter’s trending list. Ironically, the law that Harrison was charged with breaking, a Class 4 felony, is most commonly enforced against undocumented immigrants who have used either used a fake name or identity in order to obtain employment, according to the Arizona Republic. Read More


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