Boners

Boner of the Day for October 4th, 2019

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: AS STEVEN TYLER’S DAUGHTER MIA SAID, “EW”

When he’s not singing — or honkin’ on bobo — you may find Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler suggestively humping a fan onstage during one of the band’s performances … just as he did at a recent concert. We should clarify that it is an actual fan, as in a powered machine used to move air. But although the singer’s gyrating motions surely aroused some concertgoers, not everyone was pleased with the titillating display subsequently shared by the rocker on Instagram. Least of all Tyler’s fashion model daughter Mia Tyler, who simply wrote “Ew” as a response to her father’s onstage humping in the attendant comments section. Watch the video, and see Mia Tyler’s disgusted reply, down toward the bottom of this post. Yet Mia isn’t the only Tyler daughter to protest daddy’s vivacious actions. Affirming Mia’s “Ew” admonishment to Steven’s fan humping, her half-sister, Chelsea Tyler Foster, wrote, “my thoughts exactly.” “CLEARLY… I HAVE THE BEST FANS!” is the witty caption supplied by the singer of the clip that shows the Aerosmith icon straddle the cooling apparatus before seductively leaning in for not one, not two, but six total hip thrusts of scintillating proportions. While still in the evocative pose, the musician then begins bouncing up and down, as if to simulate even more sensuality to the captivated crowd. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: THIS IS BOARDWALK EMPIRE

The mayor of Atlantic City had already been caught in an unflattering moment — surveillance cameras had recorded a late-night fistfight he was involved in outside a casino last November.
His troubles took a more ominous turn less than a month later, when F.B.I. agents raided his home, lugging away computers and more than $40,000 in cash, so much that they had to borrow a machine to count it. Now the mayor, Frank M. Gilliam Jr., 49, is out of office. He faces up to 20 years in prison after he pleaded guilty on Thursday to a single federal corruption charge and admitted to stealing $87,000 from a youth basketball program he helped start. He resigned on Thursday night after initially resisting pressure from Gov. Philip D. Murphy, who had called the charge Mr. Gilliam pleaded guilty to “despicable.” Mr. Murphy also said Mr. Gilliam had “squandered the trust of his community.” Each morning, get the latest on New York businesses, arts, sports, dining, style and more. Mr. Gilliam submitted a letter of resignation in which he apologized to the residents of Atlantic City, who he said “deserve stability and respect,” and to those who had voted for him “and had high hopes in my tenure.” Marty Small, a City Councilman, appeared set to become acting mayor. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: WE CAN’T GET COURT ORDERS THAT WILL EXTEND TO SCHOOLS

NIAGARA, N.Y. — She saw him when she got off the school bus, she recalled. She noticed him glaring at her from the doorway during theater class and track practice. Some days, he would walk so close to her in the corridors that their shoulders almost touched. She felt disgusted, she said, and then frightened. For nine months, the girl said, she could not escape Elias Dowdy, a fellow senior at her upstate New York high school who had raped her in his bedroom. The girl, Taylor, had obtained an order of protection that prohibited Mr. Dowdy from coming near her at home or at a job while the criminal case against him proceeded. But the order did not apply at Niagara Wheatfield High School, where Mr. Dowdy, a star lacrosse player, roamed freely while he waited for his court date. The school system’s handling of the rape charges against Mr. Dowdy jolted Niagara, a rural, working-class town outside Buffalo, touching off a fierce debate over whether high school administrators across the nation are equipped to address sexual misconduct and assaults by teenagers. Read More

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1:I WOULD EXECUTE THESE PEOPLE

Brian Klimowski says he loved the area so much during a July trip, that he went back a couple of weeks ago. While hiking, he spotted a lot of graffiti. He said it appeared as someone had used a rock to etch names an numbers into the canyon walls. The area is federally managed, and anyone responsible for vandalism like this could spend three to six months in prison — along with a fine of up to $500. For similar damage at state parks, culprits could face felony or misdemeanor charges, and can be required to pay the costs involved with cleaning up their mess. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: IF YOU WANT THE JOB, SEND US YOUR INSTAGRAM

A Texas woman said she was shamed online by a potential employer who took a photo of her in a bikini from her Instagram account and shared it on the company’s page while warning other applicants that it was unprofessional. Emily Clow, who according to her Twitter account lives in Austin, said she applied for a marketing coordinator position at a business startup, Kickass Masterminds. Clow told NBC News in a phone interview Wednesday that shortly after applying, a company representative reached out to her and said the firm wanted to move ahead with the application process and recommended that she follow them on Instagram. Hoping to improve her chances of landing the position, she did. But as she was scrolling through the company’s Instagram story, Clow said she saw a photo of herself in a red two-piece bathing suit with a warning message to potential applicants. “PSA (because I know some of you applicants are looking at this) do not share your social media with a potential employer if this is the kind of content on it. I am looking for a professional marketer – not a bikini model,” it read. Another message on the photo read: “Go on with your bad self and do whatever in private. But this is not doing you any favors in finding a professional job.” Read More

Boner Candidate #3: I’M GAY BECAUSE I-PHONE MADE ME GAY

A man in Russia has launched a lawsuit against Apple after he alleged that his phone turned him gay. D Razumilov wants 1 million rubles (£16,500) after he was given 69 GayCoins of cryptocurrency instead of Bitcoin he had been expecting. The money came with the message, in English, ‘don’t judge without trying’. He did what he was told, tried it, and is now in a relationship.
He wrote in court papers: ‘I thought, indeed, how can I judge something without trying it? And decided to try same-sex relationships. ‘I can say after the passage of two months that I’m mired in intimacy with a member of my own sex and can’t get out. I have a steady boyfriend and I don’t know how to explain it to my parents. ‘After receiving the aforementioned message, my life has changed for the worse and will never be normal again.’ Razumilov has accused Apple of ‘manipulatively pushing me toward homosexuality’ since sending him the GayCoins in 2017 and was suing because of ‘moral suffering and harm to mental health.’ Read More

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