ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: I THINK THIS SHOWS YOU WHAT VACCINE PROTESTERS ARE ALL ABOUT.
Almost immediately after an anti-vaccine protest featured a flag with a swastika made of syringes.
Boner Candidate #2: TMI, MEGHAN.
In a strange display of love, Meghan Trainor and her husband share their two toilets they use, side by side in the same bathroom.
Boner Candidate #3: URBAN MEYER IS REALLY SORRY THAT HE ALLOWED A YOUNG WOMAN WHO IS NOT HIS WIFE GRIND AGAINST HIM AT A BAR AND THAT HIS SORRY ASS TEAM HASN’T WON A SINGLE GAME.
Urban Meyer was caught grinding against another woman. When dancing later with yet another woman on a different night, he used his arm as a barrier to separate himself from her in a respectful way.
ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: 30 PIECE NUGGETS DESERVE PLENTY OF DIPPING SAUCE
A man in Iowa made bomb threats to a McDonalds because they didn’t have enough dipping sauce.
Boner Candidate #2: HE WAS ARRESTED DUE TO SUSPICIOUS MOVEMENT.
A man was arrested for ‘suspicious movement’ before being discovered to have smuggled roughly a kilogram of gold in his own butt.
Boner Candidate #3: MR. MERRYMAN ISN’T VERY MERRY
David Merryman, or as one of his tenants called him ‘a landlord from hell’ was discovered to be torturing his black tenants with an onslaught of slurs, and degrading behavior. In his defense, he claimed that he used to date a black girl.
