Round One
Boner Candidate #1: WE ARE GETTING CLOSE TO MOB RULE IN THIS COUNTRY
GOP Candidate Steve Lynch, threatened the schoolboard with violence over mask mandates by saying to a crowd: “I’m going in with 20 strong men and I’m gonna give them an option — they can leave or they can be removed.”
Boner Candidate #2: THE ANTI VAX MOMMA.
A woman calling herself ‘AntiVaxMomma’ is accused of selling fake vaccination cards online for $200 each, despite the vaccine being entirely free.
Boner Candidate #3: GETTING A HAIR CUT CAN BE A SERIOUS MATTER.
A man was shot and wounded by a babershop owner in New York after the man entered the store wearing a mask and pointing a handgun at several people.
Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME HEAVILY USED BOXER SHORTS? WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THEY WERE HEAVILY USED BY MICHAEL JORDAN?
You could be the owner of Michael Jordan’s “personally worn” boxer shorts, if you’re willing to auction for it. The auction is starting at $500.
Boner Candidate #2: POLITICAL EXTORTION
Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy, threatened to punish companies investigating the January 6th insurrection by forcing them out with a ‘future GOP majority.’ Or as he said it: “a Republican majority will not forget.”
Boner Candidate #3: HOW COULD YOU TELL IT WAS ME STOLE THAT STUFF.
A thief stealing clothes nearly got away with the act until police found and arrested him because of the visible tags on the clothing he was wearing.
