Round One
Boner Candidate #1: I Needed a Ride Home
A man in central Florida needed a ride home. Instead, he received a ride to jail. Winter Haven Police said Jermaine Williams, 46, called 911 early Friday morning to report a dead body at the McDonald’s on 5th Street NW. Officers responded to the fast-food restaurant where they found no body, just Williams sitting on the curb. He told police he called a number of times earlier in the night to ask for a ride. Police charged Williams with misuse of 911. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: They Should Name the Town ‘Mesothelioma’
Officials in a Quebec town called Asbestos said a planned vote on a new name for the municipality might be delayed after negative public reaction to the local council’s options: Phenix, Apalone, Trois-Lacs and Jeffery. Mayor Hugues Grimard said Friday, four days after the name options were unveiled, that the local council is looking into other potential names after some of the town’s 7,000 residents reacted negatively to the suggestions. The names that were originally slated to be voted on Oct. 14-18 were Phenix, the French version of the mythical fire bird Phoenix; Apalone, a species of turtle; Trois-Lacs, which means “Three Lakes” in English; and Jeffrey, the name of the man who operated the town’s first asbestos mine. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: Sorry Jason, It’s Not Yours
The 2020 Emmys had its own version of the Oscars wrong-winner gaffe Saturday night — with Jason Bateman wrongly named for an award won by “This Is Us” guest star Ron Cephas Jones. In a voice-over announcement during the online creative arts Emmys — a precursor to Sunday’s main ceremony — Bateman was declared the winner for his guest appearance on HBO’s “The Outsider,” while the screen correctly displayed Jones’ name. Confused viewers on FXX then had to wait until after a commercial break for an on-screen message that read, “Our apologies, an incorrect winner has been announced. We’re fixing it now.” Jones’ name was again displayed — without an announcement — with the Television Academy also tweeting confirmation that he was the victor. There was no immediate explanation for the mistake. Read More
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: On the Plus Side, the Autopilot Seemed to Work Pretty Well
A Canadian man has been charged after he was found asleep at the wheel of a “self-driving” Tesla traveling over 93 mph down a highway in the province of Alberta, authorities said on Thursday. The July 9 incident occurred after authorities received a complaint that a Model S Tesla was speeding on a highway near the town of Ponoka, located about 60 miles south of Edmonton, according to a release by Alberta Royal Canadian Mounted police (RCMP). “The car appeared to be self-driving, traveling over 140km/h, with both front seats completely reclined and both occupants appearing to be asleep,” the RCMP said in a statement. Police said that after a responding officer flashed emergency lights on their vehicle, the Tesla “automatically began to accelerate,” and sped up to “exactly 150 km/h.” The driver, a male, 20, from British Columbia, was charged with speeding and given a 24-hour license suspension for fatigue. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: They’ll Never Look For a Gun In There
A Louisiana man who was found to have a loaded pistol in his buttocks during a jail strip search pleaded guilty today to weapons and contraband charges, court records show. In a plea deal, Justin Savoie, 24, copped to a pair of felony counts and a misdemeanor charge in connection with his arrest late last year at a residence in Golden Meadow, a Bayou town 40 miles south of New Orleans. Savoie received a five-year suspended prison sentence on the felony convictions during a District Court sentencing. He was also placed on three years probation and ordered to serve 90 days in the Lafourche Parish jail. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: Mom and Dad, Get Your Damned Acts Together
In a school board meeting Wednesday, Boca Raton Elementary teacher Edith Pride delivered a colorful message to parents. “Parents, please make sure that you have on proper clothing when you are walking behind your child’s computer because we’ve seen them in their drawers, their bras, and everything else,” Pride said during public comment. Pride said she had plenty of issues to take up with the district, but dedicated her entire three minutes to this message. “Parents, when you are helping your children at their computer please do not appear with big joints in your hands and cigarettes,” Pride continued. “Those joints be as big as cigars. Oh yeah, we’ve seen it all.” In a school board meeting Wednesday, Boca Raton Elementary teacher Edith Pride delivered a colorful message to parents. Though her comments drew laughter from the crowd, her message struck a chord with many local teachers who have had similar experiences navigating the sometimes unpredictable world of online lessons. Read More
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