ROUND ONE
Boner Candidate #1: THEY MUST HAVE GONE THROUGH THAT MONEY QUICK
From winning big to behind bars. A Bay County couple scored half a million dollars off a scratch off and now they’re accused of stealing from others. When Stephanie Harvell and Mitchell Arnswald won that jackpot in 2016, they said they planned to buy a house and a car with their winnings and set up college funds for their daughters. But it seems their lives may have taken a different turn. “They must have gone through the money quick or something,” said Bay County Sheriff Troy Cunningham. Investigators said they committed a string of home break ins throughout Mid-Michigan. Cunningham said he doesn’t want to see people who work hard for their money become victims of burglaries. But he says that’s exactly what happened in his county, along with Midland, Arenac, Saginaw, and Tuscola counties. “I think that is about as bad of a crime as we see is the home invasions,” Cunningham said. The burglaries all happened during the day when residents were not home, Cunningham said. He said when the pair was arrested, authorities found some incriminating evidence. “Besides having some evidence from the home invasion they’d just done, apparently they had just purchased some crow bars and rubber gloves at the Meijer store,” he said. Cunningham said a task force was formed to find the accused thieves. They got their break on August 29 when someone called police after her home was broken into. Read More
Boner Candidate #2: I’M HERE FOR THE PARTY
TAYLORSVILLE, Utah — A man ended up shot by a bystander and arrested by police after a wild scene outside of a child’s birthday party in Taylorsville on Saturday. Brian Bogart, 40, was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault, illegal firearm possession and kidnapping after police say he showed up uninvited to a home and, after being turned away, returned and pointed a gun at people in the area. According to a variety of witness accounts in a police statement, Bogart was driving to the home of a man identified only as T.O. after already being told not to come. T.O. told police he had grandchildren over. Unified Police told Fox 13 there was a child’s birthday party at the home, in the area near Hemlock Drive and Manzanita Drive. Police did not specify if Bogart was a family member of anyone involved or how he and T.O. knew each other. Bogart’s car broke down on the way, and as he continued on foot toward the residence, a man he did not know with initials D.C. stopped to give him a ride. D.C. told police that as he drove, Bogart pulled out a handgun and placed it on his lap. He then reportedly said he was going to kill someone, then denied it, then said it again. D.C. said he was afraid and drove away as soon as he dropped Bogart off. He reported the incident to police when he arrived at his home. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: SOME THINGS JUST SHOULDN’T BE DIY PROJECTS
Some things shouldn’t be do-it-yourself projects. Rape-kit testing ought to be on that list, Michigan Attorney General Dana Nessel argued in a warning issued Thursday to the maker of an at-home rape kit test called the MeToo Kit. The kits are produced by an upstart Brooklyn, New York-based company, and claim to be the “first-ever sexual assault evidence kit for at-home use.” The company says on its website that its tests will be “able to collect DNA samples and other tissues, which upon testing can provide the necessary factual evidence required in a court of law to identify a sexual predator’s involvement with sexual assault.” New-York based MeToo markets this kit as the “first ever sexual assault evidence kit for at-home use.” Nessel said there are plenty of flaws with the notion of an at-home rape kit, and alleges that the company is in violation of several sections of Michigan’s Consumer Protection Act. “This company is shamelessly trying to take financial advantage of the ‘Me Too’ movement by luring victims into thinking that an at-home-do-it-yourself sexual assault kit will stand up in court,” Nessel said in a news release. “Nothing could be further from the truth. Career prosecutors know that evidence collected in this way would not provide the necessary chain of custody.” Read More
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ROUND TWO
Boner Candidate #1: I CAN SMELL YOUR MEAT.
An Australian vegan has a beef with her neighbors over what she claims is the smell of meat and fish coming from their barbecue, according to reports. Cilla Carden has been locked in a legal battle since last year with her neighbors, claiming that the odors have ruined her quality of life at her home in Perth, 9News reported. “All I can smell is fish,” Carden told the news station. “I can’t enjoy my back yard. I can’t go out there.” Carden’s complaint was tossed out of court earlier this year, leading her to file to appeal in the country’s supreme court, the news station reported. The supreme court judge rejected her appeal in July and encouraged both parties to instead “direct their considerable energy towards the resolution of their differences as best they can.” But Carden has vowed to continue the fight against her neighbors and return to court. “It’s been devastating. It’s been turmoil,” Carden told 9News. “It’s been unrest. I haven’t been able to sleep.” Read More
Boner Candidate #2: OBI-WAN DOESN’T LOOK LIKE JESUS; JESUS LOOKS LIKE OBI-WAN
PRIOR LAKE, Minn— Members of the congregation at a Latter-day Saint church in Minnesota may have noticed a familiar, but out-of-place face on the front of their church programs on Sunday. An image of Obi-Wan Kenobi, as portrayed by Ewan McGregor in the “Star Wars” prequels, was used in a collage depicting images of Jesus Christ. (Scroll down to see the program.) “I have seen a lot out there where people think this is fake or was an accident from googling Jesus pics not knowing it was Obi Wan. I was fully aware of what I was doing,” wrote Instagram user itsalwright101, who claimed credit for designing the program. The resemblance of McGregor’s “Obi-Wan” and traditional depictions of Jesus has been noted before. In 2017, a Reddit user claimed to have replaced a picture of Christ with a picture of “Kenobi” at his parents’ house, and no one was the wiser for 3+ months. Read More
Boner Candidate #3: DON’T I LOOK HOT PRAYING FOR THE BAHAMAS?
Hurricane Dorian has ravaged the Bahamas and lashed the islands as a Category 5 storm in an ‘unprecedented’ 40-hour barrage of wind and rain. But a number of supposedly ‘heartfelt’ posts on Instagram lamenting the storm have come under fire for being somewhat tone-deaf. Some Instagram users took to the social media platform to post their condolences to the storm’s victims alongside pictures of themselves in the sunny Bahamas while clad in beachwear. Geotagged as The Bahamas, model Tatiele Polyana posted a photo of herself on a bright white beach, ankle-deep in crystal-clear water. In an incongruous caption, Polyana wrote: ‘My heart is in (two). A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to know this immensity of clear water, truly a paradise, how sad, my God, to see the desperation of the people in the videos, so many houses, cars, hospitals and places all being devastated by this damn hurricane! Let’s pray for #Bahamas.’ Hurricane Dorian has ravaged the Bahamas and lashed the islands as a Category 5 storm in an ‘unprecedented’ 40-hour barrage of wind and rain. Read More
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