!!! WINNER !!!
Boner Candidate #1: NOT A DRAG QUEEN
Justin Eichorn who is a Republican state lawmaker in Minnesota who recently introduced a bill to create a mental illness category for liberals obsessed over Donald Trump was arrested Tuesday for soliciting a minor for prostitution. Justin Eichorn believed that he was talking to a 17-year-old female, but little did he know he was talking with detectives from the Bloomington, Minnesota, Police department. Eichorn is a 40-year-old who is married with four kids, faces felony charges for soliciting a minor to practice prostitution. The Minnesota Senate GOP called for Eichorn to resign, saying the reports were shocking. The Republican party of Minnesota also called for Eichorn to resign because of the seriousness of the charges.
Boner Candidate #2: SORRY ABOUT THE HOLE IN YOUR HOUSE. CAN I USE YOUR BATHROOM?
An incident was reported in Los Angeles near California State and Santa Fe Avenue this past Sunday night left a silver four-door sedan plowed through a front yead and then slammed into the side of the home. A motorist was then taken away in handcuffs and was given permission to use the bathroom after crashing into the home. The crash seemed to have caused a small gas leak, that required the homeowner to find another place to spend the night.
Boner Candidate #3: BASEBALL IS A HELL OF A DRUG
Michigan infielder Mitchell Voit issued a public apology on social media this past Monday after his drug-inspired celebration during an 11-0 victory over USC. Voit, is a 20-year-old junior from Wisconsin, who went 3-for 3 home runs and a 2-0 lead in the second inning, Voit ripped a triple center field and slid to third base, where he celebrated the play by imitating the use of cocaine. He got down on his knees, and proceeded to act as if he was doing the drug. The video went viral on X, where Voit issued an apology. “I would like to apologize for my actions on third base yesterday. I made an immature decision in the heat of the moment,” his post read. The apology came the same day Voit was named Big Ten Player of the Week.
