!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #1: HE HONKED AT ME
In Salt Lake City, a man named Tyler Foutz plead guilty to shooting at an Amazon delivery truck. The driver of the Amazon semi-truck reported to police they were driving when a car went across four lanes and almost ran the semi off the road, so the semi-truck driver honked twice. This resulted in Foutz and his brother, who were in the recklessly driving car, were trying to fight the semi-truck driver, and waited until the driver stopped. Foutz and his brother then followed the semi again, and fired six rounds at the semi. This resulted in Foutz and his brother crashing into another car after speeding away from the semi. “I can prove that I can be a good person and not make the mistakes I did before. I just need that one chance to show you that I can do it,” said Foutz.
via KSL
Boner Candidate #2: YEAH. WHERE ARE THE REPUBLICAN BILLIONAIRES TO HELP TRUMP…WAIT ISN’T TRUMP A REPUBLICAN BILLIONAIRE?
Mark Levin, Fox News host, is upset that no wealthy Republicans have come out to try and help Donald Trump post his more than $450 million bond. Donald Trump is in the middle of a civil judgement for which he is trying to appeal. “Why are there no Republican multi-billionaires offering to lend President Trump the funds to file his appeal in the outrageous case in NY state? Are none of them liquid enough to help or join with others to help? This is an outrage,” Levin said on social media. Despite Donald Trump owing millions of dollars, he still recently won the presidential primary Republican candidate.
via Mediaite
Boner Candidate #3: PUT ON YOUR BIG BOY BRITCHES AND HAVE A BIG BOY CONVERSATION.
Ohio man, Adam Sizemore, was arrested after calling police almost 20 times about his son’s homework. “I’m a single dad of a boy and a girl and I’m just trying to do the best I can and that’s all I can do. People make mistakes,” said Sizemore. Sizemore says that the amount of homework his young son is doing is taking away from their time together. Sizemore also called the school and talked to the secretaries saying, “You’ve got a little bit of an a** chewing coming because of your employees — the ones I pay for — so if you could call me back …”
via Today