WINNER!
Boner Candidate #1: ARE YOU PEOPLE AGAINST UNITY?
Donald Trump has recently deleted a 30 second clip that references a ‘unified reich’ from his social media pages. The video starts off with a question, “what happens after Donald Trump wins?” and “what’s next for America?” which is followed by faked news paper headlines. They read, “BORDER IS CLOSED — 15 MILLION ILLEGAL ALIENS DEPORTED” and “ECONOMY BOOMS.” Then slightly blurred text appears underneath the headlines that reads: “Industrial strength significantly increased … driven by the creation of a unified Reich.” Joe Biden responded to the surprising video. “Is this on his official account? Wow! A ‘unified Reich?’ That’s Hitler’s language, that’s not America’s. He cares about holding on to power. I care about you.” Trumps campaign spokesperson, Karoline Leavitt, had replied in defense, “The real extremist is Joe Biden who has turned his back on Israel and the Jewish people by bowing down to radical anti-semites and terrorist sympathizers in his party like Ilhan Omar and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.”
via NBC News
Boner Candidate #2: OFFICER, HELP. THAT WOMAN IS AFTER ME.
A burglar requested the help from officers during his getaway because the victim was chasing him down. Terry Jennings, 24, sprinted to a police vehicle that was stopped at a stoplight, asking the officer for assistance. The officer soon determined that the individual was running away from a resident in the area, after they found the burglar attempting to break into his house. Police did a search of Jennings, and found multiple items on his person that he was unable to account how he became in possession of those things. Fortunately, another resident came forward to admit to police she caught Jennings on one of her surveillance cameras trying to get into her car.
via Fox 35
Boner Candidate #3: I WANT TO GO BLIND AGAIN!
A woman who goes by the monkier “Dragon Girl” had decided to tattoo her eyeballs for a second time, after the first procedure left her blinded for 3 weeks. Posting on her Instagram account – @amberluke666 – wrote underneath a photo, “Let me tell you a story; one about personal perseverance & taking back what’s yours. I was blinded for 3 weeks upon my first ever body modification – 7 years ago now. That in itself was the most brutally torturous agony I have experienced to this date so far…then why the hell do it again you ask? For this exact moment – for this exact feeling and emotional connection. I have waited 7 long years to experience what I did yesterday … and I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else other than my good friend.”
via Mirror.Uk
