!!!WINNER!!!
Boner Candidate #1: I’VE BEEN SHOT! WELL, I’M HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK..
A man who was shot by police and later died had to wait 10 extra minutes for an ambulance after an officer having a “mild anxiety attack” took the ambulance that showed up on the scene. Dyshan Best was shot in the back last year during an encounter with the police. The first ambulance called to take Best to the hospital arrived 14 minutes after the shooting. However, at the urging of other officers, that ambulance was used to take away a police officer, Erin Perrotta, who had been involved in the foot chase, the report said.
Boner Candidate #2: HE’S THE MOST WELL READ PERSON IN THE ROOM IF THE OTHERS IN THE ROOM ARE A ROCK AND A JELLY DOUGHNUT
White House Press Secretary, Karoline Leavitt, was speaking at George Washington University when she expressed praise for President Donald Trump, saying he is the “most well-read person in the room” She is quoted saying, “Let me tell you, he is always reading the papers and watching the TV…He doesn’t miss anything anyone says in the whole world. I don’t know how he does it and consumes it all.” This just days after trump was mocked for saying he “doesn’t believe” in libraries or museums. Secretary Leavitt went on to say that before anyone gets “hot and bothered” about something, they should check sources and balance the truth so they can one day be as well read as Trump.
Boner Candidate #3: THEY GOT ALIENS HAVING SEX WITH MIGRANTS. TRYING TO BREED SOME KIND OF HYBRID. A GUY IN A UNIFORM TOLD ME.
MAGA Republican Representative, Matt Gaetz, made a wild claim about “secret breeding programs” on a far-right political podcast. While speaking to podcaster Benny Johnson, he claimed that a uniformed member of the United States Army told him about a program where aliens and humans are creating hybrid babies to help with intergalactic communication “I had someone come and brief me… on the locations of hybrid breeding programs where captured aliens were breeding with humans to create some hybrid race” He also claims that the persons used in this were “abducted from war zones” and “the caravans of migrants”.
